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“Sure!” I reply, forcing a smile as I take the glass of wine he poured for me.
Christopher is dressed casually, wearing navy sweatpants and a grey t-shirt from Berkeley, the college where he graduated. I’m seriously overdressed for a night of lounging on the couch.
“I’m going to run up to change. I’ll be right back,” I say.
Before I can get away, he pulls me close to him, kissing me hard on the lips. My stomach turns a little, but I kiss him back with the same enthusiasm.
“Hurry back so we can pick a movie,” he says sweetly—a littletoosweetly.
Upstairs, I sit on the edge of our bed. I scrub my hands over my face and let out a heavy sigh.
“Get it together, Andrea. Play your part and beat him at his game. For you and Adalyn,” I say to myself quietly.
“You coming, babe?” Christopher yells up the stairs.
“Coming, love!” I call back sweetly.
Hopping up and heading to the closet, I quickly throw on black leggings before heading over to Christopher’s closet and grabbing one of his t-shirts. It’s too big, but I used to love wearing his shirts around the house and to sleep in. I leave my discarded clothes in a heap and hurry downstairs.
When I walk into the room, I can’t help but study him. He’s stretched out on the chaise lounge waiting for me, his expression softer than I can remember recently. His smile reaches his eyes when he sees me walking towards him.
Why can’t this be real?
I wish more than anything that it was.
He pats the cushion, gesturing for me to lie down beside him. I do, but I leave a small space between us. That doesn’t last long, because he circles his arm around me and tugs me closer.
“That’s better,” he says, quickly kissing my temple. He keeps his arm beneath me, and I soften against him, resting my head on his shoulder. “I thought we would watch a romantic comedy; I know they’re your favorite.” He gives me a sideways smile.
“Babe, that sounds great,” I say with a with a smile. Snuggling in, he presses play.
We stay this way, connected, through the entire movie. Laughing together at the funny scenes and pulling each other closer during the romantic scenes. Knowing things aren’t okay between us, I can’t allow myself to truly enjoy it. It’s not love; it’s a means to an end.
The closing credits roll, and he says, “This is nice, huh? Like old times.”
Breaking my train of thought, he sits up beside me, and I shift so we’re sitting beside one another.
“It is. It definitely is,” I say, trying not to sound sad.
“It can stay like this. I promise you it can. We have to support each other. We have to defend each other against anyone who tries to come against us. We need to stand together, united always.”
I don’t respond. He’s manipulating me, using my emotions against me. He knows how badly he’s treated me, and he’s treating me like he used to so he can guilt me into giving him what he wants.
What he wants is for me to say, “Yes! I want us to be like this all the time again!” and essentially sell my soul to him to get it. Everything out of his mouth is a lie, and I know they’re lies. I finally see him for who he is, not who Iwanthim to be.
“You want that, right? With me? The life we’ve planned since we were teenagers?” he asks pointedly, confirming every one of my suspicions.
I lie. Not because I want to, but because I have to. I fake a smile. “Of course, love. Of course, I do.” I squeeze his knee and stand, wanting to end this conversation, hoping not to give myself away. I excuse myself to the restroom.
When I come back into the living room, Christopher is tidying up the blanket we used. He’s already taken our wine glasses to the kitchen. He gives me a sweet smile, again, and I’m unsure who deserves the acting award more.
Him for pulling off a flawless performance of a loving fiancé, or me for making him believe I’m buying it.
Checking the clock on the wall, Christopher says, “It’s nearly eleven o’clock already. You want to go to bed?” There’s a suggestive tone to his voice, and it throws me off a little.
I don’t remember the last time we went to bed together, much less when we were last intimate. Before I can answer, he approaches me, places his hand on my back, and leads me towards the stairs.
A sudden knock at the door startles us.
