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I don’t want to betray my family, but I also don’t want them to pay for my brother’s mistakes. While I don’t think his clan is more powerful than my father’s army of soldiers, I don’t want to gamble with any of their lives. How many of my family members could Lennon take out before he and his clan are defeated? I can’t afford those odds. I tamp down the consideration of what could happen to him during this war that would surely erupt if he tries to take on my family. His welfare shouldn’t be a consideration in snitching on my brother.
“Stefano,” I say with bated breath. Fuck!
“The fucking youngest brother?”
He is older than me by a few years, but yes. I solemnly nod, already feeling the guilt for betraying him. “Please, Lennon. He is going through a lot. He is forced to live in the shadows of our older brothers and gets no respect from our father. I don’t want any harm to come to him.”
“How often does he beat you?” Lennon growls, not giving a shit about my explanation.
“It’s only been a couple of times. It’s mostly just verbal abuse. I’ve learned the signs. It’s normally after he’s had a blowup with our father for not meeting his impossible standards. Stefano drinks to dull the pain and then he comes into my room to take his frustration out on me.”
“Why the fuck would he do that? No fucking man worth a grain of salt would ever result to this. He’s a coward—too afraid to stand up to your father, so he abuses you.”
Lennon backs away from me and begins to pace. He runs an agitated hand through his hair.
“As you so keenly spoke on before, I’m my father’s princess. Hurting me is hurting my father. I think he wants me to tell so that his retaliation is recognized, but I’m afraid of what our father would do to him—afraid of what it would do to our family.”
“I’m going to fucking kill him,” he says more to himself than to me.
“Lennon, you can’t. Please promise me. Please!”
“What makes you think you can ask me for favors? I own you, remember? I fucking destroy anyone that fucks with what belongs to me.”
I know I need to find a way to de-escalate him. It’s my fault that my brother is in harm’s way. “I didn’t belong to you then,” I try. I don’t belong to him now, but I keep that to myself. That statement wouldn’t help current matters. “I’ll do anything. Just please… don’t hurt my brother.”
He halts mid pace, his gaze snapping to mine. His strides back to me are swift with intent. He grips both of my thighs where I still sit on the vanity. “What are you proposing, Aurora? Do anything, like what?”
“My virginity. It’s yours if you let my brother be. I’ll submit.”
“Are you fucking kidding me?” He squeezes my thighs with such force I cry out. “You think I want your fucking virginity in exchange for your brother’s ability to continue to walk this earth?”
I grab his wrists, and he loosens his grip. “I will do anything for my family. It’s what you want, so you win.”
He grabs my face with both hands, but not how he grips my thighs. The look in the depth of his beautiful eyes is foreign. Empathy. “I don’t want to claim your pussy like that. When I do, it will be because the inevitable has happened. You will give yourself to me because you want to. Not because you want to save your fucking deadbeat brother.”
He releases my face and looks away from me. “This is your one and only favor. I promise not to kill him. For you.”
He looks at me one last time before he exits the bathroom. I’m finally able to release the breath I didn’t realize I was holding. I slump against the mirror. Did I really just offer up my virginity to save my brother, only to have him refuse me? He said for me. I try not to read too much into that promise, but a newfound respect for Lennon flourishes. I gave him an opportunity to take what this abduction has been about— similar to when I had a chance to escape and didn’t take it. What does that mean other than we’re both fucked up? He promised not to kill my brother, and I trust he’ll keep his word, but he never promised not to hurt him. I know better than to push for that inclusion. I need to take tonight’s conversation as a win. Things are evolving between us, but to what extent still remains to be seen.
I hop off the counter and start the shower. I let the robe fall to the floor just as Lennon re-enters the bathroom. “I decided to use your shower,” he says by way of explanation. He grabs my hand and pulls me in with him.
I lean my head back into the stream, unsure how to be around him. He takes the shampoo from the built-in shelf and pours a quarter size into his palm. I think he is about to wash his hair, but he begins to wash mine instead.
“I like this haircut on you,” he mentions. “It’s more sophisticated. It fits you.”
“Thanks,” I reply. Not sure what else to say.
We indulge in the silence while he continues to wash and rinse my hair twice. “You deserve someone who will take care of your heart,” he says almost too quietly. “I can protect you. I can fuck you. But I can’t guard your heart, Aurora.”
I don’t know what he wants me to say to that. He puts the shampoo back, and showers without any attempts to utter another word. He steps out of the shower, dries himself, and then leaves me dumbfounded once again. Did he only come back to give me a warning—to tell me that he is emotionally unavailable? How am I supposed to take that? I didn’t ask him to guard my heart or to have feelings for me. I’m not reading into anything he’s said or done. His rage toward my brother earlier was about ownership. He truly believes that I belong to him. He’d have the same reaction toward any of his possessions. I’m his leverage against my father, and I do well to remember that. I finish my shower, determined to forget about this entire day. It’s best to table any feeling or thoughts I have until tomorrow when I can think a bit clearer. Lennon is the ultimate mind fuck. An enigma. I can’t lose sight of another way to escape.
I can’t lose sight of my own plan.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
Lennon
She completely fucking bewitches me! I had her. All I had to do was agree to take her virginity in exchange for sparing her sorry-arse brother. But like a fucking eejit, I couldn’t because her submission wouldn’t mean that I have broken her—it would be because of that fucking savior complex of hers. Every day that passes, I chip away at her armor— her resistance to me. Her body responds to me so beautifully, but it’s not enough. I want her mind. Only then will I be willing to accept her virginity. I don’t want her to concede to me … I want to break her.
