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“Oisín,” Lennon growls. “I’ve spoken, and it’s not up for debate. Just do your job. You have your orders.”
“You can’t ask me to be part of this,” he says as he begins to walk away. I don’t know what he asked of him, but whatever it is…it has to be worse than I thought.
“It’s happening with or without you,” Lennon threatens. “Leave now, and I die.”
What the actual fuck? I watch in horror as he takes a seat in that damn torture chair. Apollo wastes no time strapping him into the restraints. Oisín aborts his retreat to stand by his side. He isn’t happy about whatever is about to go down. Apollo tilts the chair back on its back feet, the angle like the other time. Lennon closes his eyes before Apollo even places the cloth over his face. I don’t understand. That was supposed to be me in that chair. What is he doing?
“Come,” Oisín orders me begrudgingly.
My fear that has been simmering just beneath the surface, awakens to full-blown panic. I look around the room, but I know running would be futile. My heart slams against my chest with each step toward Oisín and Apollo. I just want to go back to my room and pretend this night never happened. Apollo reaches down and picks up a water hose lying next to the bucket full of water. He places the hose in my hand before turning a lever to start the continuous stream.
“Pour,” Oisín orders, point toward Lennon’s face covered with the cloth.
“What? No!” I drop the hose, but he only picks it up again.
“It’s your life or his,” he says as he places the hose back in my hand. “Pour.”
I swallow the huge fucking lump in my throat. This is a bluff—a test. Surely he will stop this before it gets too far. I turn away as I direct the stream over Lennon’s face. Several seconds go by, but then he begins to buck against his restraints, his head shaking from side to side. I immediately redirect the water to his chest to give him a reprieve.
“Don’t stop pouring,” Oisín instructs. He clears his throat. He’s obviously struggling with this too. “Don’t stop until he stops moving.”
“You want me to drown him? To kill him?”
“It’s his life or yours,” he warns again. “Either keep pouring or exchange places with him. Now pour.”
I’m torn. I begin to cry as I pour. I don’t want to kill him. I didn’t mean all those horrible things I said. I watch in trepidation as Lennon’s struggle against his restraints begins to slow. I’m fucking killing him. I drop the hose.
“Stop this! Fucking just stop. I’ll trade places with him. Please!”
Oisín motions for Apollo to right Lennon’s chair and unstrap him. Lennon continues to choke on the water. I snatch the cloth from his face, and his ashen face delivers a punch to my chest. His eyes lazily work to focus on mine. I grab his arms as soon as they’re free to try to pull him to his feet. I don’t make much progress there, but Oisín pulls him up the rest of the way. Lennon sways on his feet. I immediately take his place in the chair, ready to endure what’s coming. My tears won’t stop. I almost killed him. I don’t look in his direction while Apollo straps me in. I cry harder when he places the cloth over my face.
“I’m sorry,” I say. If these are my last words, I need Lennon to know that I didn’t mean those hateful things I said. “I don’t hate you, and I would never want to see you dead,” I admit freely now that my face is hidden behind the cloth.
I wait for the water to come, but instead, I feel his presence hovering over me. “Why would you trade your life for mine, Aurora? I’ve abducted you and threatened to wear you down until you give me your virginity. I’m a threat to you as long as I’m alive.”
“I can’t watch anyone die, especially not because of me.”
“Don’t give me that savior bullshit,” he chastises, removing the cloth from my face. “Or we’ll be right back where we started.”
“What do you want from me?”
“The fucking truth. I put my own life on the line to get it, so we won’t be ending this until I get it.”
“I don’t know what the truth is,” I rationalize. “I don’t know why I feel the way I do or what to do with these feelings. All I know is no matter how fucked it is, no matter how stupid I’m being, I can’t bear the thought of any harm coming to you.”
“Look at me, Aurora.” I force myself to look at the haunting blue eyes staring back at me. I’m only going to ask these questions one time, so don’t you dare fucking lie to me. Understand?”
I nod. I just want this inquisition to be over with us both safe.
“Did it hurt to think about me and Angela doing things together?”
I don’t trust myself to speak. A lump forms again in my throat and the ache in my chest that never really left has me wallowing in a different kind of torture. I nod in the affirmative instead.
“I need to hear the words,” he insists.
“Yes,” I force out. New tears begin to fall. I swear I’m always fucking crying, and I hate it. I hate feeling this way and for allowing myself to be vulnerable in front of him right now, but I know I don’t have a choice. I don’t want to do that waterboarding thing again.
“And you’d rather give your life than take mine?”
