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“Yes.”
“So you don’t hate me?”
“No.”
“What’s the opposite of hate, A mhuirnín?”
“Love,” I whisper, finally realizing where he’s going with this questioning—the entire point of this test.
“It’s a thin line between the extreme emotions of love and hate. Your emotions definitely err on the side of extreme, little bird. So if you don’t hate me, that only leaves one emotion. Are you in love with me, Aurora?”
A pregnant pause consumes the room for what seems like an eternity. He already knows the answer to this question, and now I am faced with such a drastic reality, too.
“Yes,” I answer finally as I close my eyes.
“Leave us,” he tells Oisín and Apollo. He’s already undoing my restraints as they leave.
“Why?” I croak out. “Why did you bring that girl back here? Isn’t Fiona enough?”
He steps back and looks at me after my wrists and ankles are free. “Because I’m done with your sacrificial bullshite. You hide behind honor and your savior complex. You lie to yourself about why you don’t want to see harm come to me. You couldn’t possibly be honest with me until you were honest with yourself first.”
“I don’t lie to myself,” I defend. “I’m more than realistic about who I am and what I mean to everyone else.”
“I’m not speaking of just your precious virginity, and what it means to your family or the person you give it to, Aurora. I challenge you. I’m the first man you’ve had around you in a non-platonic way. You feel alive when you’re with me … I don’t make you feel like a prisoner even though I’m holding you captive here. You’ve had an opportunity to escape. At some point, you fell for me because I’m the only variable difference from your usual guarded life.”
“I watched Fiona do things to you,” I point out, trying to poke holes in his theory. “I know you bought her lingerie.” I don’t even know why I’m bringing any of this up other than to decipher between her and Angela and why I was so bothered by one and not the other.
He pulls me up out of the chair, the smell of alcohol still prevalent on his breath. “You didn’t feel threatened by Fiona. She was before you and also my maid. You look at her as a prisoner like you without a choice. You think she only does those things with me because I make her. My dismissal of her was obvious, so you knew I didn’t want to be with her. Angela, on the other hand, was hot and willing … a potential prospect. You thought I wanted her. You were jealous that someone so beautiful and free wanted to do all the dirty things you won’t let yourself do.”
My back is against the wall. He has a strong grip on my cotton pajama top. This whole conversation is overwhelming. “So the whole point of tonight was to get me to admit that I love you?”
“I never said you love me. I said you’re in love with me. There’s a difference. And as far as Angela, I didn’t bring her over here to get you to admit anything. I just brought someone home to play with. Figured we’d have someone for the actual sex part until you’re ready to fuck me. I don’t want your virginity the way you tried to give it to me. I want it when you crave me so much that you beg me to get between those thighs.”
“What makes you think I’d want you to touch me at all after tonight? You hurt me, Lennon. And I’m so fucking mad that I care or feel anything. This probably isn’t even real. As you said, I’ve never interacted with a man like this. So maybe you being the first is all this is.”
He slides his hand under my top and places his palm flat against my chest. My breath hitches, and my heart begins to beat erratically. “You feel that?” he asks. “That’s your answer. It’s as real as it can be at this moment.”
I manage to get a hand free and place my palm against his chest, expecting to feel nothing. He doesn’t stop me. My jaw falls open at the increased beat of his heart, just as erratic as mine. “It’s the same,” I mutter.
He doesn’t acknowledge what I’m inferring. Is he in love with me too? Is that even possible? “It’s been a long night, little bird. Come.”
He takes my hand and leads me out of the torture room and up the stairs. He’s not dragging me along like before, and I still have my life, so that’s progress. The house is quiet and dimly lit as we pad up the floating stairs to my room. I’m slightly alarmed when he gets into my bed and pulls me in next to him. I’m not having sex with him. “Shhhh,” he says even though I haven’t spoken a word. “Rest now.” He pulls me further into him and snuggles his chin into the crook of my neck. I’m hyperaware of his frame engulfing me, the heat from his body searing mine. It takes several minutes for me to get my breathing under control, but I do. I’m not afraid. I feel protected. I don’t know what tomorrow will bring, but I’m more than happy to have the chaos of this early morning come to an end. I close my eyes and let this man’s presence in my bed consume me.
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
Lennon
Iwake first, and it takes me a moment to realize I’m in Aurora’s bed. I’m still fully dressed in my deadly black. All of last night’s actions come flooding in— the murders, Angela, and last, having Aurora deliver my penance. Well, it started that way before I used it to get her to tell me the truth about her feelings. I know Oisín will be more than a little perturbed with me today. I was so sure of Aurora’s feelings and what she would do if she had to prove she hated me that I put my own life on the line. Had I been wrong, Oisín would have been delivering the news to Kai that he was now the new Clan Chief. I risked everything — for answers—for her.What does that mean? It means that limited edition of Patrón has the powers of Satan. She begins to stir in my arms with her hair fanned across her face. I can’t help but watch her—well, until Fiona walks in.
She takes one look at Aurora and me in bed together and spins so I can’t see the hurt on her face, but I know it’s there. “Sorry, sir. I didn’t realize you were in here. I came to check on Ms. Aurora because she’s late for breakfast, and her door was left unlocked. I’ll see myself out.”
She scurries away without waiting for a response from me. I never made any promises of more with her. She was part of my penance, and in exchange, I gave her countless orgasms to satisfy her needs. Between Aurora’s jealousy last night and now Fiona’s, I know things can’t continue this way. I have a legacy to continue … one that Aurora is an intricate part of. I don’t know for how long, but at least the start of it. I can’t be distracted by the jealous whims of women. If I’m going to marry Aurora for the sake of gaining more power than any other Mafia family, I need to focus on cultivating the relationship needed with her to make that happen— no different from any other business relationship. Love is messy and can’t be a driving force. While I think her feelings for me will be an advantage to move things along, I have to also work to ensure that it doesn’t evolve to a landmine that blows all that I’m working toward to hell.
She rolls onto her back and looks up at me before rubbing her eyes and looking at me once again. “Yes, I’m still here, little bird.”
“Why are you in my bed?” she asks groggily.
“Do you prefer I not be?” She rolls her eyes before turning back over. I swat her ass for her nonverbal sass. “That’s what I thought.”
