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For a moment I sit, trying to process everything that just occurred, and then a smile stretches across my face as I shiver inside.
He was here.
The moment he entered the room, I realized he wasn’t the previous man. God knows how, but his scent wafted toward me almost immediately. Fancy aftershave mixed with alcohol and cigars. The same smell that lingered in his office that intoxicated me almost as much as his presence.
His husky voice registered in my subconscious and when his face brushed against my skin, it was rough, not smooth like the man before him.
I could tell it was that bastard without even seeing him and I had an overwhelming urge for him to be the one I flung my virginity at like a discarded rag I couldn’t wait to see the back of.
I’m glad it was him.
Iwantedit to be him, and itwashim.
I know it.
The fact he’s left is a blessing because I’m not sure I could face him after what we just did.
As I dress slowly, I bring my breathing under control and think about how to play this. He wants me to rebel, to go against my parents and become his girlfriend.
How the fuck do I go about that?
He obviously doesn’t realize how guarded my life is, and then there’s Jefferson. How do I broach the subject with him without revealing everything I know?
Despite every problem battling for answers, there is an overwhelming feeling inside me that rises above all the others.
I did it.
I’m a woman now.Hiswoman and nothing can ever take that away from me. I made my own decision, and it worked out for once. He will forever hold the honor of being my first and whatever happens next, nothing can change that.
* * *
Somehow,I make it to the door and resist switching on the light to stare at a scene that is best left in the dark. Nothing to see here, just an incredible memory that will be mine to treasure whatever happens next.
As I pass through the hallway, I picture what’s happening behind every darkened door and wonder if I’ll ever be back. Will I discover all the secrets these rooms hold? If I’m married to Jefferson, I’ll sign up for membership on my way out. Like the man I met, it could become my guilty secret, no questions asked.
For some reason, that makes me smile and as I walk through the bar with my head held high, I act as if I belong here.
“Hey, how did it go?” The receptionist peers at me with curiosity and I smile.
“Amazing. Thank you.”
She seems surprised. “Did you…?”
“Yes.” I laugh softly. “I may even be back.”
“Wow!” She shakes her head. “I’ve gotta hand it to you. You’ve got balls.”
“Thanks for giving me the chance.”
She nods. “Anytime, sister.”
“I don’t suppose you could call me a cab?” I ask, knowing I really should be getting home by now.
“There’s one waiting outside. It’s all yours.” She winks and as I make to leave, I turn back and say quickly, “I’d say goodbye, but I have a feeling I’ll be back.”
“I’ve no doubt, honey.”
She laughs out loud. “It’s the thrill you see. The forbidden. We can all lose ourselves and leave real life outside the door. It’s intoxicating and better than any drug.”
