Page 62 of The Lobster Trap


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Caroline didn’t know, and she couldn’t answer her own questions. Everything that made sense to her yesterday morning was now a cluster of unknowns, and she couldn’t pick out the plausible answer.

Nothing about her and Dune’s relationship made sense. If she had met him in college, she wouldn’t have given him the time of day. In fact, she would’ve snubbed her nose at him for how he dressed. His job. His more than carefree attitude toward things. Dune wasn’t serious. He was a fly by the seat of his pants sort of guy. Caroline planned things, down to the time she would work out or eat, what she would wear, and how her hair would look before she stood in the mirror in the morning. Something she hadn’t done since arriving in Seaport. Caroline couldn’t decide if this was a good or bad thing. She was indifferent about the change.

After she ate her failed omelet, which became an egg scramble, she cleaned. It was another thing she hadn’t done since arriving. This was supposed to be her home for three months, yet she ignored it as if it were a hotel and someone would come clean up after her. Caroline finished in the kitchen and then stripped her bed. As soon as she smelled Dune’s cologne, tears flooded her eyes. She sat on the edge of her bed and cried. Cried for the failure of a relationship that she let herself believe in when she knew nothing would ever come of it. Cried because her heart broke into a million little pieces when her earlier thoughts about Dune came to fruition.

Caroline wiped her tears, gathered the bedding, and took it to the washer. She added soap after pushing the bedding into the cavity, closed the door, and turned it on. Then, she tackled the bathroom. Room after room, she cleaned, dusted, and did more laundry. When all was said and done, her cottage was clean, and her suitcase packed. As she stared at it, she couldn’t recall the moment she started packing and couldn’t stop. It was like her mind had thoughts of its own, and the main thought was to get the hell out of town. She was the laughingstock of Seaport and there was no way she could face people now. They all knew what Dune was like, and no one warned her. No one thought to pull her aside to let her know she was on the arm of the biggest player in town. Knowing this, Caroline felt as if she had no choice but to leave.

With everything packed, she took a last look around the cottage to make sure she hadn’t forgotten anything, locked all the windows, and then stepped outside onto the porch she didn’t spend any time on. Her trip was nothing more than a waste. Wasted on a man who would move on next week with whoever showed up in town. For all she knew, he scouted the train station or had some beacon that homed in on tourists.

When she got to the bottom of the stairs, she turned and looked at the house she had fallen in love with. The quaint cottage had been perfect for her, and still would be if she hadn’t allowed her heart to fall for someone. That was her mistake and one she’d never allow to happen again.

Instead of walking through downtown, where she was liable to run into someone she knew or who knew her and Dune, she walked up two blocks and then turned toward the station. She took the narrow side streets, pulled her luggage behind her, and wanted to cry every few steps she took. She remembered the days when she acted like a tourist and bought gifts for her family or for her. Caroline bought clothes, knickknacks, and a slew of other things to take to her apartment in New York City. Her suitcase weighed a ton and coupled with her bag, she struggled to pull it over the cobblestone roads. Each time she had to cross the street the bag tipped over. At one point, her tote bag opened onto the ground, forcing her to stop and pick her things up.

As tears streamed, she became angrier with herself. The frustration she felt continued to rise to the top and she wanted to yell. Scream and pound on something to get the emotions out of her system. This wasn’t her—the type to cry over something like a bag falling onto the ground—but this was about more than her bag. It was her life, and it was in shambles.

People stopped and asked if she needed help, and while she did, she refused to take it. This was her drama. Her nightmare. When she was on the train, she’d be in a better place because Seaport would be in the distance. She’d make it to her apartment and hide away from the world for a bit before embracing the life she knew all too well. Once her mother found out Caroline was in the city, the social circle would grow, and her time in the idyllic beach town would be something of the past.

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