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Alex held Lily’s face in her hands, her breath warm on Lily’s lips. “I’ve been thinking that same thing since the night we met.”
* * *
By the time they were finished with dinner, the stars were dusted across the night sky like incense wafting through an abandoned temple. The cool evening air smelled of faint campfire and clean water, smoothing out the tart undercurrent coming from the thickets of ripe raspberries in full bloom on the islands. Lily breathed it in and picked up the last slice of steak from Alex’s plate with her fingers.
“What?” She flashed her best innocent smile. “You’ve clearly tapped out, and I’m not about to let something that delicious go to waste.”
Alex laughed and took the dishes down to the kitchen, then reappeared to lead her to the deck railing to look out over the water. The evening breeze sifted through the trees on the island surrounding the cove, shifting the treetops just enough to sweep the sky, and the pewter moon hung low on the horizon, the reflection carving a wide swath of glittering light across the water.
Lily leaned on the railing and looked down into the dark water. “I’ve only been here a couple of weeks, but I already can’t imagine going back to LA.” Her stomach tightened at the thought, and the memory of LA felt like watching a movie of someone else’s life.
“So what about LA has come into focus for you since you’ve been here?” Alex turned toward Lily, her elbow on the railing. “What is it that you don’t want to go back to?”
Lily sighed, trying to find an analogy to describe the weirdness of a town where only image mattered and success was never achieved. It was only rented, and the rent was due every day. Keeping up was exhausting.
“I used to think what bothered me the most was that everyone knew me. I couldn’t go anywhere without someone asking me about my books or where they’d seen me on TV.” Lily tucked her hair behind her ear, the wind picking up the ends and brushing them across the nape of her neck. “But I’m starting to realize that what was making me feel so alone was that I was alone—no one really knew me. Not the real me, anyway. LA requires a perfect image, and who you really are has nothing to do with it.”
“That must have felt lonely.”
“It was.” Lily’s chest started to tighten as if to remind her. “I felt so alone, and there is all this pressure to produce, to become more famous than yesterday, to come up with the next thing to go viral o
n social media.” Lily laced her fingers together, squeezing so hard, her knuckles slowly turned white. “And all I ever wanted to do was to write books that people loved, and now I’m having panic attacks and hating my life.”
“Is there anything about the scene that you do want to go back to?”
Lily paused, sifting through the memories of endless parties and awards and “being seen.” She knew the answer; it was only one word, but it was the one word she’d been seeking for years. “No.”
Alex smiled. “Then, maybe it’s time to make room in your thoughts for how to hold that boundary for yourself.”
“What do you mean?”
Alex paused. “If you know you don’t want to go back—and even if I hadn’t heard your words, I would be able to tell from your body language that just the thought of it stresses you the hell out—then maybe it’s time to put your mental health first and honor that truth you’ve uncovered.”
Lily turned to face Alex. The light from the deck painted her face with sheer liquid gold. “Like, just tell my agent that things have to change for me to be healthy?”
“Yes. Exactly that.” Alex slid her hand around the back of Lily’s neck, pulling her gently into the warmth of her body. “Maybe it’s time for your work to become part of your life instead of the reverse. If your body is clearly telling you things aren’t right, then think about holding your ground until you find a compromise, a space between where you’re finally comfortable.” Lily smiled, and Alex leaned down to kiss her before she went on. “Everything else will fall into place.”
Lily rested her head on Alex’s chest for a moment while she let the words sink in. The heaviness of dread she’d been carrying started to lift like dense fog rising over water. Maybe it really was that simple. Maybe it was just time to get back to writing, the only part she ever cared about anyway.
Lily rolled her eyes playfully as she looked up. “God. It’s like you’re a therapist or something.”
“Not right now.” Alex cupped Lily’s face in her hands, her eyes soft, her voice husky with emotion. “I’m just the one over here falling in love with you.”
Lily slipped her hands under Alex’s shirt as Alex kissed her, the softness of her body melting into every angle of Alex’s. Alex tilted her head to the side gently and kissed her neck, her tongue tracing a path to her ear.
???“I know I talked about sleeping under the stars, but I think we may want to go downstairs to the cabin for what I want to do to you.”
Right on cue, a ski boat idled past the corner of the island with its floodlights on. It didn’t turn into the cove, but it was enough for Lily to volunteer to grab the whiskey from the bar and head to the downstairs cabin.
“Perfect,” Alex said into her neck, both hands slipping around her hips and over the curves of her ass. “I’m going to make sure everything is put away in the kitchen, and I’ll join you with some glasses.”
Lily hesitated. “Do you remember if Sara left any spray cheese?”
Alex shook her head and laughed, which seemed to startle a heron wading at the edge of the water. “I can literally lift you with one arm. Where does someone so small put all the spray cheese?”
“And crackers,” Lily added without a hint of a smile. “I’ll need crackers.”
“Yes, ma’am.” Alex was still laughing as she headed to the kitchen. Lily grabbed the crystal decanter of whiskey she’d seen at the bar and headed down to the interior cabin they’d slept in the night before.
