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“What are you going to tell her?” He asks in a low voice, glancing over his shoulder to see if Natalia is around.
Before I have a chance to reply, Natalia comes out of the bathroom and gives me a half smile. “Let’s go home.”
I reach out and grab the bag from her, taking her hand. “Thanks for finishing up here,” I repeat to Finn before we head out to the car.
Following her to the passenger side of the car, I open her door. She hesitates before turning to look at me. “Thank you for this,” she whispers, reaching up to cup my cheek. “You don’t know how much I needed it.”
Chapter twenty-one
Natalia
“Don’t thank me, Natalia,” Declan says as he gazes down at me. He gives me a soft smile and kisses my forehead. Tingles shoot through my body as his lips meet my skin, my eyes close momentarily before he pulls away. “Let’s go home.”
Once we arrive home, I get out of the car and grab the bag out of the backseat. “I hope you have a good dry cleaner because this was my favorite outfit,” I joke as I motion to the bag.
“Oh, I do. She’s amazing,” Declan takes the bag from me. “Just hang the bag here, and I’ll send her a text. Then she will pick it up in about thirty minutes.”
“Great,” I say, as I watch him hang the bag on the wall.
“Let’s get you showered,” he says with a smile, opening the door to the house.
“Yeah, I’m gross… a shower sounds nice.” I let out a small laugh.
Walking into the bedroom, I grab a pair of underwear and the pair of pajamas Maxine bought for me, heading to the bathroom. Looking around the large space, I admire the beautiful marble, the large clawfoot tub, and state-of-the-art shower.
Turning to look in the mirror, I don’t even recognize myself. My hair is a mess, there’s blood staining my hands, and various parts of my body. I can still hear Viktors begs as I ripped out his fingernails. My mind wanders to the very first time I witnessed the hope drain from a man's eyes.
“You can sit in, but not participate today.” My father said before opening the door to the room the man was being held in.
I nod and walk in the room behind him. The large room is simple. There’s a man tied up in the middle of the room, some weapons on a table, but other than that, it’s unremarkable. I guess when you bring someone here to kill them, they don’t really care about interior decorations. Finding a good view, I slid down the wall and sat on the floor.
My father and Dmitri begin their routine, both moving in sync with each other. My father was asking all the questions while Dmitri was inflicting pain. Any time the man would refuse to answer or lie, Dmitri would rip out a fingernail. The sound of the man's screams sent chills throughout my body and I felt like I could throw up.
After they get a few more questions out of him, he starts to refuse to answer again. So, Dmitri grabs a small knife off the table and starts slicing at his skin. Each action eliciting a new scream. The man loses consciousness at one point, and my father looks over at me as if he’s checking to make sure I’m paying attention.
Soon he comes to, and after a few more wounds from Dmitri’s knife, they have the information they want and my father ends the guy by putting a bullet between his eyes.
Shaking the memory from my mind, I look at the blood that wouldn’t come off at the safe house. I don’t feel an ounce of remorse for killing Viktor and that fact alone should worry me, but it doesn’t. My mind goes back to the day Dmitri died, and the promise I made to him. I’ve tried so hard to keep it, but I feel like I’ve failed.
My eyes fill with tears as I walk over to the shower and turn it on, waiting for it to warm up. Once the temperature is acceptable, I undress and slip inside. As soon as the water rushes over my face, my resolve breaks and I let the tears fall freely. Leaning my head against the cool tile wall, I close my eyes. “I’m sorry, Dmitri,” I whisper.
Hearing Declan come into the bathroom, I straighten up and pretend to be washing my hair. “Here are some towels,” he says, sitting them on the sink.
“Thank you,” my voice cracks, and I internally curse.
“Nat? What’s wrong?” I can hear the worry in his voice as he moves closer. So much for crying in peace.
“Nothing,” I sniffle. A cool draft rushes over me as he opens the shower, and I turn my head so he can’t see my tears.
“Bullshit,” he grumbles as he climbs into the shower.
In the next moment, I feel his hand caress my shoulder. The fabric of his cuff creates friction across my skin. My eyes widen and I gasp, spinning around to look at him. “You’re still in your suit!”
“I can buy another,” he says, dismissing my question with a wave. “Why are you crying?” He probes again, the impatience in his voice growing.
“When I killed Viktor… I didn’t feel any remorse at all. I was… relieved? Happy?” I shift my eyes to the shower floor. “I promised Dmitri that I wouldn’t let that happen to me, and I’ve failed him.”
Declan's arms are around me in seconds. “Nat, you didn’t fail him. I know for a fact that Dmitri would be so proud of you.”
