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She took the initiative this time, laying a long, deep kiss on him that had her feeling something hard against her stomach. A small part of her wanted to slip a hand into his shorts and stroke his erection, watch his face as she pleasured him, but she didn’t feel bold enough to do that. Not yet, anyway.
Her brain was telling her to slow down but her heart…her heart was telling her to enjoy the ride because she deserved it. She deserved to be happy. She deserved to kiss a man who made her heart race and her nipples hard and her pussy wet. Wyatt did all of those things to her when he kissed her, when his tongue leisurely explored her mouth as he was doing right at that moment.
By the time she let him go, they were both breathing heavily. He smiled as he wished her a good night, then waited until she was safely inside as he always did before returning to his cabin.
As she prepared for bed, Beth hummed to herself, unable to quelch the joy she felt. Wyatt was everything she’d ever dreamed of in a man. Kind, caring, intelligent, gorgeous. He was a good man in every sense of the word, and for a few moments she dared to think about a future with him.
But reality brought her crashing back down to the ground, and she wanted to sob her heart out. She had to get farther away from Arizona, as far as she could go. Bringing trouble to Wyatt’s life was the very last thing he needed, given all he’d already gone through, and she couldn’t do it to him. He didn’t deserve it.
She didn’t deserve him.
It was a long time before she drifted off to sleep. The troubled thoughts keeping her awake had her wanting to crawl into Wyatt’s bed and never leave it.
ChapterTen
The following morning, Beth woke just before sunrise. She was due to start working in Wyatt’s office that morning and would welcome the distraction, but the shitty sleep she’d endured had left her feeling out of sorts. And the one person she wanted to call to talk about everything, she couldn’t.
Tears welled up as she made herself get out of bed and get dressed. She needed to get some air. Thinking of her mother always encased her in grief that was hard to shake. Beth still wasn’t able to think of or talk about her mom without getting upset, so she decided to go for a walk to work through it. Stretching her legs and breathing in some fresh air would help clear her head.
Once she was ready, she very quietly stepped out of her cabin and looked over to the bigger one next to it. There was no light visible, so she hoped that meant Wyatt and Freya were still asleep. She knew he generally waited until sunrise to go for a jog around the lake.
She needed to do this walk alone. She didn’t want the man she’d already come to care a great deal for to see her like this. Although he was no stranger to grief, she didn’t like the idea of him seeing her so vulnerable. She’d already bared more of herself to him than she would have liked, and although he hadn’t been anything but supportive, she was still reluctant to expose this side of her.
As her feet carried her farther away from where she’d been staying, her thoughts turned to her mother. God, she wished she could talk to her mom more than anything. She was pretty sure the elder Adams woman would have been so proud Beth had finally found the courage to leave the man who’d abused her for the last couple of years. She wished she could talk about her complicated and unexpected feelings for Wyatt.
Her mom would know exactly what to say. Beth could almost hear Annika’s voice in her head, telling her how proud she was of her daughter. How much she deserved a better life, one full of love and laughter and happiness. How Beth deserved a man who would treat her with respect and love her for who she was without trying to change her.
Thinking of her mother made her want to cry. She’d never hear her mom’s voice again. Never feel the weight of her arms around her. Never be able to listen to her words of wisdom and confide in her. All she wanted right now was a hug from her mom, and she’d never be able to have one ever again.
Beth suddenly broke out in a run, moving as fast as she could while her chest heaved and her lungs gasped for breath. Tears poured down her face as she struggled to see more than five feet in front of her. She stuck to the lake’s shoreline as she ran until her legs collapsed underneath her and she fell to the ground in a heap.
Crying hysterically, she let it all out. All the pain and grief. All the rage at her mother’s loss. At Miles for his callous indifference to her suffering. At the universe for taking away the one person she’d loved the most and leaving her all alone in the world.
“Why did you have to take her? Why her? I need her so much! I need my mom.” Her anguished scream echoed over the lake, and she cried until she was hoarse, rocking back and forth in place. Finally, while on her knees, she leaned over until her forehead met the cold sand that ringed the edge of the lake, and wished for a dark, bleak moment that the water would simply carry her away so her suffering would meet a watery end.
Beth had no idea how much time had passed when something cold and wet nuzzled her ear, making her jump and sit up so suddenly she felt dizzy. Freya whined as she licked Beth’s face, rubbing her fur against her cheek. “Hi, girl.” Beth closed her eyes and wrapped her arms around the dog’s neck, hugging her close.
“You okay, honey?”
Wyatt’s question had her opening her eyes again. Although her vision was still blurry due to all the tears, she couldn’t miss him. He was crouched next to her, concern stamped all over his face.
She opened her mouth to speak but nothing came out, so she closed it again. Releasing Freya, she took a deep breath and tried again. “No.” The word sounded more like a croak as she shook her head, and suddenly a new flood of tears tracked down her cheeks.
“Oh, Beth.” His voice was soft as he situated himself down on the ground next to her and pulled her into his arms. She went willingly, needing his comfort more than she could possibly say. Crying on his shoulder, she snuggled as close as she could, the shelter of his arms making her feel safe.
His long fingers stroked her hair soothingly as he rocked her back and forth gently, whispering words she couldn’t hear over her distress. But his strong arms were solid around her, and his clean, masculine scent was comforting in ways she couldn’t express. Being held by Wyatt Kincaid was no hardship, and she wasn’t in any rush to move.
But eventually, she quieted enough to raise her head and gaze into his deep, blue eyes. “Thank you.” The words hardly seemed adequate, but it was all she could manage for the moment.
He kissed her forehead softly, the gesture making her want to weep some more. “I’m sorry for your pain, honey. If you want to talk about it, I’m a good listener.”
Beth didn’t doubt that for a moment. Despite what Leni had told her about Wyatt being a bit of a loner, he’d been nothing but open with her. “I trust you.” It felt important he know that. Trust was not something she gave freely anymore, but she wasn’t lying. Shedidtrust Wyatt.
They sat together on the shore, Freya parked right next to them, as if standing guard. Beth reached to pat her and was rewarded with a loving lick.
By the time Beth felt strong enough to stand, the sun had risen. Wyatt pulled her to her feet, then held out his hand. She took it, grateful for his presence, and let him lead her back to his place where he deposited her on a stool in the kitchen and placed a glass of orange juice in front of her. “I’m going to make us some breakfast, and then we can talk if you want to. If you don’t, that’s okay too.”
Beth blinked back tears. He wasn’t pressuring her or making her do anything she didn’t want to. Just giving her options and the power to choose meant more to her than he could possibly know.
