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“I’ve got to get back. Final exams coming up, I can’t rest yet.”
“Sure?” Chloe asks, in that infernally kind way, even though she’s whip-smart and always baying for information.
She knows exactly what’s going on between me and Ian – we’re stagnant.
Everybody knows.
I just won’t admit it out loud, at least not yet.
She and Sass are closer than I ever was with either of them – and I’ve known Sass longer than Chloe has.
“Take care then, bird,” Sass says, reading my unease and hugging me tight.
Chloe takes my hand and squeezes it, then they’re on their way.
I walk swiftly towards the rail station, their concerned faces haunting me, their advisory words ringing in my ears.
Did I bring this on myself?
I was a waitress when I met Ian. Working tables in an Italian close to the Leeds campus, I’d only just finished my English degree at Leeds University and I was trying to figure out what my next move was. All my friends have always been so sure about their paths in life… but me? Quite the opposite.
As I fell for Ian, I also decided to go back to school and retrain as a mental health therapist. I had to take some access courses to bolster the crappy science qualifications I got in high school, but I did it. It occurred to me one day that I wanted to help people, and as crazy as everyone thought I was back then, when I started my next degree, I knew I’d chosen the right path.
Maybe all this upheaval messed things up for us. He was living in Leeds but when I got a place in Salford, he moved with me. He has to take the train to work every day because he’s a professor of engineering at Leeds. He’s a good man. He’s a little lost… I don’t know if he wants to settle down, ever, but he’s not the worst partner, I suppose.
I make it to the train on time and close my eyes, allowing myself a breather from all these thoughts of regret and upheaval and possible life choices coming back to haunt me.
My phone pings in my pocket and I take it out to read a message from Paul.
Fuck.
Why is he texting me… today?
Hey, how are you? Haven’t seen you in ages x
Paul is one of those guys… you know… one of those…
I stare at the screen and delete his message.
He can’t keep doing this.
Every time I have a relationship crisis, he shows up after months of nothing.
I was going out with this loser guy when I was nineteen and when it all fell apart, Paul showed up and gave me a shoulder to cry on. Then he left for Germany for his year abroad as part of his degree and I heard all sorts of stories from his best mates about what he was getting up to over there.
I know Chloe will have texted him and told him about tonight – that me and Ian are going through a rough patch. Chloe, the interferer… she thinks he and I should be together, probably just to fulfil some fantasy of her two best mates getting it on.
I pocket my phone and take a deep breath.
I’m so close to finishing this degree and after that, I’ll need to find a placement somewhere.
Perhaps Ian might come with me, or maybe we’ll slowly drift apart and the whole job of ending it will be taken out of both of our hands.
Chapter Two
Seven months later…
Christmas is here, but I’m still with Ian. I graduated in the summer and found a placement in Leeds. We moved back and my new career is amazing, but I’m still with Ian and that part isn’t so good (cue internal madwoman laughing). Turns out, it wasn’t moving to Manchester for three years that killed our relationship. We’re back in Leeds and it’s still dead.
