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He looked as if his heart would shatter, as if he was barely holding it together by a thread. Eric chose that moment to enter and Caelan’s hand moved so fast, I didn’t see it as he turned the oven hood fan right down.
“He’s back,” I said brightly, and Caelan plastered on a smile.
“For now,” said Caelan.
I watched Eric move into the space like he’d stumbled into another man’s house only to find the woman he thought was his wife was actually someone else’s.
“Are you hungry?” I looked up into my husband’s face.
“Nae, I ate. Let me take a shower, okay?”
Caelan had never needed my permission to do anything. “Whatever you need.”
He left the room without another word, Eric trying to keep his expression neutral as Caelan walked right past him without a glance.
A weighted silence descended as Eric poured himself a glass of water and I dished up enchiladas. We were just about to tuck in, when he finally spoke. “Is he okay?”
“I don’t know.”
“He doesn’t seem okay,” said Eric.
“I agree. He’s obviously had a lot on his plate.”
God only knew what he’d been up to these past couple of days.
“Don’t you think we should tell him?” said Eric.
Dread pooled in my stomach. “Tell him what?”
“Well, about us.”
I swallowed whatever it was I was feeling. Regret. Fear. Disgust. A multitude of things I’d yet to come to terms with.
“When the time is right,” I said, avoiding the insinuation.
I was fine playing the role, living out the fantasy of the long-suffering wife with a new, more exciting lover to keep her entertained while her husband was away at war. So long as Caelan wasn’t in the house at the same time.
With him seemingly home again, it felt weird, and I thought Eric acted differently whenever Caelan was around. Sort of… unhinged.
Eric said nothing more and got on with eating.
In my heart of hearts, I was sure who I belonged to, and it really wasn’t this interloper opposite. I’d known all along this was a sick, sad, twisted little thing that only felt good in the moment. The rest of the time, it just felt bad.
Eric kept saying he loved me and that it was only natural for us to love one another when we were both bound so tight to the same man. I’d never reciprocated those words, never actually told him I loved him, too.
Because I didn’t.
Did I?
He was just… something on the side.
A way of vacating myself to someplace else. With someone I didn’t care for so much.
Logan was now old enough to be left in his nursery to sleep alone and once the lights were out and the baby monitor set up, I left him to head for the en suite. Running the bath, I added everything I had in the cabinet and then some. I was soaking when Caelan came into the room, shut the door and knelt beside the tub. We’d found him showered and dressed in his grey sweats after dinner, already beavering away in his office. I thought that’s where he must have just come from, right before dropping to the floor in here to tell me something.
“What’s going on, Caelan?”
“If you say it’s still me you love, I swear, I can get through anything. I swear it, Flora.”
