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“I imagine he doesn’t floss,” Poppy says. “Fuck him. You don’t need a man like that in your life.” She raises her glass to me. “Hecan suck a big, hairy dick.” She takes a sip of her cocktail.
Charlize laughs, as does Jenna.
Adeline smiles at me before taking a sip of her cocktail and then says, “Whether you’re into vanilla or kink doesn’t say anything about the heart of you. It’s just one preference of yours in a whole life of preferences.”
Adeline is my sister’s business partner and I liked her the minute I met her last year. She was one of the world’s top fashion models before starting her own company. Fashion and beauty are her things. They’re also mine, but that’s not why I feel drawn to her. It’s the way she sees my pain and says things like this to me.
She doesn’t even need me to dig deep for her. She just gets me.
I can’t deny that while navigating my way around this whole friendship group experience isn’t something that comes naturally to me and causes me some anxiety, I like not feeling judged by these women. I like feeling accepted however I come.
I return Adeline’s smile. “Thank you for saying that.” I didn’t even know I needed to hear it.
My phone sounds with a text and I check it while the conversation carries on about the New York dating scene.
Phillip: What are you doing tonight?
Phillip and I have been on-again, off-again for almost a year now. Our latest off period started two months ago and I’m not sure we’ll have another on period.
Another message comes through.
Phillip: I miss you, Kristen.
Me: I’m having dinner with friends tonight.
Phillip: Cancel and come over to my place instead.
Me: Oh, Annabelle’s not available tonight?
Phillip: That’s not fair.
Me: It’s very fair.
Phillip: I told you it’s not serious with her.
Me: And I told you I’m not interested in sharing you, Phillip.
His reply doesn’t come straight away. He takes a couple of minutes.
Phillip: I’ll end it with her.
Me: You do that.
Phillip: I’m serious.
Me: I am too.
Phillip: I’ll call you tomorrow after I speak with her.
I inhale a long breath and put my phone down again.
There’s definitely something wrong with me.
The old me would have handled that conversation very differently.
The new me isn’t even convinced she wants Phillip to end things with Annabelle.
Oh God, was my therapist wrong about my transformation? Is this an actual mid-life crisis?
