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“I’m back here,” I shouted, as I heard Vivi walking towards the bedroom, her heels clicking loudly on the hardwood floor.
“There you are,” she huffed, plopping down on the new bed. “What’s that look for? You should be happy. We finally finished this place. It’s perfect.”
Shrugging my shoulders, I leaned against the wall. “What if he doesn’t like it?”
“Who? Kansas?”
I nodded.
Vivi laughed. “Honey, he ain’t gonna care. None of the brothers give a shit about home decorating and crap. All they care about is if the TV has Sports Center, if the fridge has beer and where they can find a nice hot pussy to sink their dicks into. They could give a flying fuck about anything else.”
I grinned at that.
Pushing off the wall, I walked over to the closest nightstand and pulled out a picture frame. Holding it close to me, I sat next to Vivi. “I did something. I’m not sure it’s the right thing, but I wanted to give Kansas something. To let him know I care and understand everything he’s been through.”
“Okay?”
Handing her the frame, I watched and waited as she stared at the photo. Her hand trembled as she tenderly ran her finger over the face. “You would have liked Katie. She was just everything. So full of life. She smiled all the time. She had a gentle side, too. That girl could be so loving one minute and kick your ass the next.”
“This place should have been hers.”
“No,” Vivi snapped at me. “Don’t do that, Kali. This place was barren, dead until you brought life to it. You did all this. Not Katie. Everything from the paint on the walls to the towels in the bathrooms, you did that. Katie was never good with stuff like that.”
“I just feel that I’ll never measure up.”
“I’m going to let you in on a secret about Kansas and Katie. Yeah, they both loved each other with their whole hearts, but they also fought like cats and dogs. I swear when those two went at it, brothers would duck for cover. Katie had a stubborn streak a mile wide and when she butted heads with Kansas, they wouldn’t talk for days. They weren’t talking when Kansas left on the run. They had a big blowout a few days earlier. Kansas wanted to move Katie into a house. He knew raising a baby in the clubhouse wasn’t a good idea. That she’d be happier with a home of her own. A place where they could make a proper home. Katie hated the idea. They had a huge fight. After the massacre, Kansas fell into a deep depression. It’s bad enough that he blamed himself for her death, but the real reason he won’t forgive himself is because of the last words he said to her.”
I stayed silent, waiting for Vivi to continue.
“He called her a selfish bitch and said he regretted marrying her. That no real mother would put her needs before a kid.”
I gasped.
“You see, Kansas had a good childhood. Loving parents. That was something he wanted for his child. He wanted the house, the dog, kids, everything. He wanted the complete package. Katie didn’t. She never had that growing up. She never knew her father and her mother was a drunken whore. Katie always believed that she wasn’t good enough and sabotaged herself. She hated it when the club bunnies would talk to Kansas. She’d beat the shit out of them. When she got pregnant, she believed that Kansas wouldn’t want her anymore.”
“Kansas told me she wanted to be a mother.”
“She did when she realized Kansas wanted the baby. She calmed down after that. God, Kansas doted on that girl. Everything she wanted, he made sure she got it. No questions asked, but the one thing he wanted to give her she didn’t want.”
“A house. That’s why Kansas told me I needed a proper house. It wasn’t so much for me,it wasfor him. He wants the house.”
Vivi nodded. “Kansas wants the dream. He always has.”
“Then why did he insist I fix up this place?”
“Because he’s scared. He’s scared that if he forces you into a house, you don’t want…”
“Then I will leave him, too.”
“And because you don’t financially need him, he won’t risk it.”
“Vivi, I’m trying to understand Kansas, but I don’t understand this life. One minute he’s kissing me senseless and the next he can’t stand to be in the same room with me. I’m sorry, but the man is giving me severe whiplash.”
Vivi laughed. “Yeah, I see that. Look, the best thing I can tell you is to give it time. Kansas has his own demons he needs to reconcile with, and so do you. You need to learn to trust Kansas, and he needs to understand that you are not Katie.”
“Baby steps.”
“Exactly,” she said, handing me back the picture frame. “As for that, I’d wait until both of you are more settled. Get to know each other. Spend time with each other. You both are more alike than you think.”
