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I had no clue what time it was when I woke up, but I assumed that night had fallen since no light was shining in through the windows. The only source of light was the damn alarm clock perched on top of Kansas’ nightstand. The green glow of the time illuminated the entire bedroom. I looked around our bedroom as I allowed my eyes to adjust. My eyes fell on Kansas lying beside me, sound asleep, the occasional cute snore slipping out.
I turned to my side, smiling as I watched him adoringly. I watched his chest rise and fall with each breath that he took, as I took in his naked body. Even in the dim light, I could see the contours of his abs so perfectly defined. I noticed his bicep muscles. They looked so strong to me. They were arms that any girl would kill to be wrapped up in. I smiled to myself at the thought of them around me. A comforting and safe spot to be. My eyes trailed down his arms, to his chest and abdomen. Clothes really didn’t do his body justice. If ever there was a man destined to walk around nude, it was Kansas.
The man was something special to look at.
My mind became racked with so many thoughts as I looked at him. I wanted to just lay here and admire him, but thoughts interrupted my vision. How did I get here? How did this happen? Why did he choose me? Was I really that lovable?
My past would say differently.
Everyone I ever loved left me or died.
Yet, Kansas stayed. Why? What did he see that the others didn’t?
The shock of my situation finally hit me as I was lay next to the man I loved in our bed. I loved him. That had to be it. Love.
But I loved my parents, my grandfather, my brother and they left me. Was that the problem? Was I destined to be abandoned by only those I loved?
I didn’t want to think about losing Kansas. It hurt too much.
Maybe I was being punished? But for what?
What did I do to deserve for everyone I loved to leave and die?
I wasn’t special.
Not in the extraordinary sense. I was just a woman, a mom. A woman who suffered so much pain and death in her life, that I became numb to the fact. I grieved for my brother. I would for the rest of my life. But like the others, he left me too.
Would Kansas leave me too?
I always saw Kansas as an individual and not just my savior. The more I got to know him, the more I loved him. I knew that his favorite color was red and that the New York Rangers were his favorite hockey team. I felt something when he kissed me for the first time that day back at the clubhouse. I felt a spark that turned into something more when his lips lightly brushed against mine. It was undeniable. Kansas and I had a significant amount of sexual chemistry, but was that enough?
After our first sexual encounter, everything changed between us. The intense chemistry between us exploded and only seemed to grow with each passing day. As I looked at him, all I wanted to do was explore his body once more. He was my addiction. A craving I lusted for. But was that enough?
Was my want of desire enough to keep him close?
Licking my lips, I couldn’t just look at his body anymore.
The need to touch him was paramount.
My fingertips tingled to explore his body. To trace lines up and down his chest. I scooted closer to him and placed my left hand on his chest. My fingers lightly raked through his patch of sexy chest hair. I knew a lot of women weren’t into it, but I adored a smidge of chest hair on a man. I lightly traced my fingertips over the lines of his well-defined abdomen, then up his chest, along his shoulders, to the bicep closest to me.
He shifted a bit but didn’t wake up.
I brought myself even closer to him, pressing my breasts against his left arm. My fingers continued moving along the contours of his body until they were just below his belly button. I walked my fingers around his lower abdomen, contemplating my next move.
I looked at his cock, his amazing cock. Thick, veiny and semi-hard, even in his sleep. Wondered what he was dreaming about as I dragged my fingertips lower until I reached his pubic bone. I tempted myself to touch him, to take his cock in my hand and wake him up. I wanted him to touch me so badly. I needed a connection to the living and Kansas was right before me, breathing and heart beating. I know it sounded trivial, but I needed him to make me feel something. Anything other than the despair coursing through my veins.
I moved my hand back and forth, keeping contact with his skin as I debated going ahead with it.
“Don’t stop now, baby,” I heard him mumble.
My eyes quickly shifted from his body to his face.
He smiled at me. “Take what you need.”
I didn’t need any further encouragement to wrap my small hand around his semi hard cock. I pumped his shaft into my fist a few times, feeling him grow and harden in my hand. I heard him sigh and craned my neck up to kiss him. The kiss started off sweetly, but in mere moments, I was kissing him hungrily.
Our tongues danced against one another’s. He darted his tongue in my mouth as I sucked on it. My tongue massaging his as I sucked. Our lips met once again after I released his tongue. Our lips kept at each other as I scooted my body back a bit to give his arm room to move. He snaked his arm underneath my waist so that he could grab my buttocks, squeezing my cheeks in his firm hand. His right arm reached over and caressed my cheek. I moaned into his mouth.
