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“What is it?”
I inhale. “It’s just . . . well, Liam used to try to pressure me into trying coke with him all the time. He was big into it for a while, and I used to just ignore it. But then, the more we got to know people from his real estate business in Greenwich, I realized it was like all anyone ever did. I think sometimes people with money have too much time on their hands. But, I mean, I do think weed is fine. Not that I ever really get the chance to get high,” I explain before sitting back down next to him.
“Yeah, I get that. Right after high school, I’d get high at parties. Preferred it to drinking. But, damn, after seeing the shit my dad has done and put us through with his addictions, I just don’t find any of it worth it anymore,” he tells me.
He slouches back and leans against the couch. “I feel that you should know, but I stayed here for my dad. I wanted, and tried my hardest, to help him. But hell, not long after my dad found out about Riley, he made all sorts of threats to me, told me I was gonna be a shitty dad, just like him.” Grabbing the remote from the coffee table, he puts on a random show to have something on for background noise. I notice a tear run down his cheek.
“Zayn, I’m so sorry,” I say, placing my hand on his shoulder. “I can’t believe you never told me that til now. I never understood what made you stay here. Thought you fell in love with someone else. Not to mention, Sam just tossed around the name Tori at Riley’s conference.”
Tossing the remote back onto the table, he leans back against the couch, waving me off. “Pfft. Tori is no one. Just a girl I never should’ve dated for as long as I did. I promise it wasn’t serious. At least nothing compared to you and Liam.”
His words simultaneously provide sting and comfort.
“Well, that’s a relief. Did you ever love Sam?” I ask.
He shakes his head. “You know, I’m not sure. It was just a fling to try to get over you.”
My cheeks flush. “I definitely thought you got over me way sooner.”
“It was so long ago. Back when I really would just use girls. All of them, but you,” he says.
I want to melt from his words. But do I believe him? “Mhmm, sure,” I say, scoffing. “So, you didn’t love her? You didn’t really answer.”
He clears his throat. “I, uh, I think I loved—still love—her for the mom she is to Riley. But never in love with her, you know? Even though there were times I kept trying to be with her to do the ‘right thing’—whatever the hell that is.” He lets out a laugh.
I laugh too, feeling more relaxed after finally hearing the truth.
“And,” he continues. “I should’ve told you I was only staying for my dad, but I really didn’t know how. I was young and dumb and trying to do what’s best. I stayed for my dad originally, but it worked out because I couldn’t imagine life without my Riley bug. So, I decided if I were gonna be stuck in this damn town, I’d be different. I’d be a good dad.”
My body naturally scoots closer to his. “I know I’ve said this before, but you are a great dad, Zayn. Riley is an amazing young lady, and we both know I’d never give all that credit to Samantha,” I joke.
He manages a smile. “Ha, ha, thanks. I guess.”
“I hate to admit it but seeing you as such a good dad has shown me that you really have changed. For the better. It’s so nice to see.”
“That means a lot to hear from you,” he says.
We both get silent for a moment.
“I realize I haven’t asked, but how is your dad doing now?”
He leans back. “Ehh, I couldn’t tell you. We hadn’t spoken in a few years until the other day before our night at Daisy’s Roadhouse. He stood in front of my truck, wanting to talk to me. Make things right.”
“Oh dang, I’m sorry. I assume things aren’t good between you guys then?”
“Nah, I cut ties with him since he was never sober, always getting arrested, tried setting our house on fire a few times, and I could never trust him around Riley. Ever since we lost my mom, he’s thrown in life’s towel. And now he wants me to just forgive him. Give him a second chance. But I don’t think that man has ever loved or cared about anybody. Not even me. I stayed for a man who wouldn’t do the same for me. And at what cost? I lost you.”
Tears begin to flood in his eyes. “Shit, I’m so sorry,” he says, using his thumbs to wipe at his eyes. “I, uh—I’ll be right back.”
I watch as he stands up from the couch, heading toward the bathroom. Without another thought, I stand up and grab ahold of his forearm.
“Zayn, wait,” I say, turning his body around to face mine. We stare into each other’s eyes for a moment, but then I fall I embrace him in a big bear hug. It’s like putting on my favorite sweatshirt.
I whisper, “I’m so sorry.” Slowly, I pull away and place my hands onto each of his upper arms, gripping him tightly. One hand drops and I take hold of his chin, directing him to meet my eyes.
“Look at me,” I say breathily. “It’s all gonna be okay. We’re okay. I wish you had told me this before. And look at us now . . . Zayn, you haven’t lost me. I’m still here, but as a friend instead.”
He exhales. “Thank you.”
