AllFreeNovel
Share Us
I don’t mean to brag, but I’m basically as burnt as toast when you put it at the highest setting.Which by the way, does anyone actually use that setting? And if not, why do they even make such a high setting?
“Ms. Parker, you appear to be frozen. Are you still there?” Principal Jane Montgomery, the lead interviewer, asks.Shit.I totally zoned out on this Zoom call. I really need to get used to being called Ms. Parker again.
“Yes, still here. I apologize, but I’m not sure what happened. I think my screen froze for a minute,” I lie.Not off to a good start here, Autumn.
“That’s alright. Would you be able to be here by August nineteenth for the start of our teacher workdays?” The principal asks as she awaits my response with a bright smile.
“Yes, I can definitely make that work,” I answer.
She moves closer to the screen. “Wonderful, well we’d love to formally offer you a position to join our fifth grade team! Welcome to Lake View Elementary! Or shall I say, ‘welcome back’?”
“Thank you so much. I’m looking forward to a wonderful year there!” I lie again. Well, not entirely a lie. Now that I’ve lost my best friend—my one and only sister—I’m moving back to my hometown. It’s the last place I want to be, but you’ve got to do what you’ve got to do sometimes, I guess.
Summer and I were opposites in so many ways, but we really were the best of friends. I think the icing on the cake of my gone-to-shit life is me and Liam getting divorced. So, perhaps I am hoping for a “wonderful year,” but I’m realistically expecting to, at the very least, rise slightly above rock-bottom status. There’s got to be a silver lining somewhere, right?
“It was a pleasure getting to know you a bit better today, Ms. Parker. We’ll be in touch. See you soon.” The woman inside the box on the screen waves at me, and the rest of the interview committee quickly mimics her.
“Thanks again. See you soon.” I wave back, and it still feels awkward despite having taught via Zoom throughout a pandemic.
As soon as the words, ‘The meeting has been ended by the host’appear on my screen, my smile fades. Summer always joked that I have a bad case of RBF—resting bitch face. It used to bother me because well . . . who wants to have that, but now that I’ve been teaching for a few years, any break from a smile brings me relief. Not wanting the interview committee to see my RBF, I do a quick check to ensure I’m logged off the call and close my laptop before completely abandoning my fake smile. Leaning back in my chair, my eyelids meet for a moment to rest. Within an instant, I see Summer’s face.Ugh, I miss her so freaking much. It’s so unfair, I think to myself.
I decide to distract myself, so I grab my phone and shoot of a text to my old high school best friends, Mason and Natalie.
Me
Got the job.
Mason
Yes, queen! We get to work together. SO EXCITED!!!
Natalie
Knew you could do it, A. Looking forward to hanging out again like old times.
I’m sohappy to spend more time with them again. Mason went away to college but moved back to teach in Lake View, and Natalie joined the army right out of high school. After serving six years, she ended up back in our hometown, too. Apparently now it’s my turn to go back there as well, too. Don’t get me wrong, getting to be closer to mom and dad—and Mason and Natalie—will be great. And the idea of teaching with Mason is giving me some strength to follow through with another year of it, despite how it affected my mental health over the past couple years. I just . . . despise change. I thrive with order, routine, and structure.
I like to think that maybe it won’t be so bad with Mason working there. He’s someone I can depend on as both a friend and coworker. Coworkers, especially teachers, can be the ‘make it or break it’ for a school. But now that I think about it, I’m fairly certain Samantha Leeman, our high school’s cheer captain who was annoying as hell, teaches there, too. I hope she’s not on the fifth grade team with me.
I stand up and make my way to the bathroom. The mirror reflects that I’m flushed from the interview, so I turn on the faucet to splash water on my face. The coolness of the water wakes and calms me at once. Grabbing the beautiful hand towel I’ve cared too much about, I dry my face. I stare at my reflection in the mirror. The white surrounding my green eyes is turning bloodshot. I tuck a strand of my hair behind my ear, allowing a deep breath to exit through my nostrils. Thoughts invade my mind again. Can I really keep teaching? My work-life balance these past five years has been, well . . . nonexistent. It’s quite tiresome to feel like you put so much time and effort into something, and yet still feel like it’s not enough. It is never enough. Teaching has drained my cup, but now that I’m about to be living at my parents’ beach house in my hometown, I figure what better time than now to give teaching a second chance. Summer would’ve wanted me to. She and I always played “school” when we were kids, and I can’t remember a time when I wasn’t the teacher. If only it were as simple and fun of a job as kid-Autumn imagined.
It’s not just teaching I’m burnt out from. Ever since my first year of college, a little over a decade ago, I’ll admit I’ve been going through the motions. The motions everyone is encouraged and supposed to go through. The norms. Societal expectations. I graduated high school, attended college, got married, and bought a two-story house with, quite literally, a white picket fence. To those on the outside looking in, my life couldn’t be more “perfect.” To me though, it has been far from it. I glance around my house, possibly for the last time. My breath slows for a minute as I take it all in. I close my eyes and think about all this house—this life, really—and all it has provided to me. The thing I hate to admit the most is how scared I am with all this change. I don’t like taking risks and I sure as hell hate unpredictability. Now that change has forced itself on me, I at least want to feel in control of some of it. The punches keep on rolling in, but I won’t allow them to continue to do so. Not anymore. I need to plan and get things back under control.
My eyes open, and I reach for my laptop again. I’ve got to get out of Greenwich and book a flight back home. Now that the divorce is finalized, it’s time to restart my life and give teaching a second chance.
* * *
Well,tonight is already Meet the Teacher Night. Never in a million years did I think I’d be entering the doors of Lake View Elementary again, yet here I am walking into the all too familiar building. Tears flood my eyes. I thought I could do this, but maybe not. Now with Summer gone, both the season and my sister, I feel like I’m holding on by a thread.
I grab the door handle to Room 161. Next to the room number, I see a faint marking on a yellow post-it note which reads “Ms. Parker.” I’m still adjusting to the fact that I’m no longer Mrs. Cunningham. Will I even recognize my own name when the students say it?Get it together, Autumn. You’ll be fine.
A voice from behind me shouts, “Autumn—oh my god, is that really you?”
I shudder. I recognize that voice. It’s Samantha Leeman. I haven’t seen her since high school, but I would recognize that screechy voice of hers anywhere.She was the girl who always acted like we were friends, but then went after all the guys I liked. I think she and Zayn were together before he and I dated, but I can’t remember for sure.
I turn around, hoping she doesn’t notice my forced politeness. “Hi, Sam. Yep, it’s really me.”
“I seriously cannot wait to work with you. How exciting is this? It’ll be just like old times!” she screeches.
