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I throw them onto the nearest shelf inside and slam the door shut, and finally, I tear my apron off and dash to the storage closet for my phone and keys. “I’m done for tonight.”
I don’t look at Axel. I don’t dare wonder what expression is on his face. The way he holds his body. I don’t allow myself even a peek, because I don’t want a tempting new image to play through my mind when I go to bed tonight.
All alone.
With wet panties and a heart filled to bursting with nerves.
“Walk me around to my car?” I charge toward Raul and leave Axel in my wake.
He’s half owner of the shop, which meanshecan close when he’s done. Lock up and set the alarms.
I stop in front of Raul, and press my hands to his stomach when he doesn’t move. “Raul?”
His eyes flick to mine.
“Walk me to my car? It’s out front.”
“S-sure…” He glances over my shoulder, but his feet move. His arm wraps around mine when I loop them together. “Um…”
“Let’s go.” I yank the heavy steel door shut and charge into the alleyway out back. “Oh god. Oh fuck.” My breath comes heavy. Too heavy, as I send my eyes skyward and glimpse stars up high. They twinkle and move, while the moon solidly sits, massive, full, and alive, in the middle of the sky.
“Are you okay?” Raul’s legs keep moving, but nerves bounce from his every pore and make mine so much worse. “What the hell was that?”
“Nothing.” I reach up with my free hand and wipe the moisture from my cheeks. “It wasabsolutelynothing. It’s not allowed to be anything. Oh god.” I stumble from gravel to the sidewalk as we emerge onto the street out front. “I can’t do this again, Raul.” I spy my car, and loathe how it sits in such a prominent position, visible to anyone inside Juniper’s Bakery. “I refuse to do this again. Sothat…?” I point to the store windows. “That was nothing. Never to be spoken of again.”
I beep my car unlocked and wrench the door open so metal hinges squeak in the night.
Dropping into my seat and jamming the key into the ignition barrel, I close my door and barely miss smacking Raul’s leg as I go.
I wind my window down and swallow the nerves in my throat when he rests his hands on the doorframe and meets my eyes.
“It was nothing,” I repeat. “And I’d appreciate it if you kept it between us.”
His mouth curls into a tiny smile before he brings his fingers up andzipshis lips closed.
“Good. Thank you.” I lean through the window and press a kiss to his cheek, then set my car into reverse.
I hate,hate, hatehow, in my peripherals, I catch movement inside the shop. I don’t look; I don’t dare.
I simply pull out of my parking space and push my car into gear. Then I drive away, too fast but still entirely safe, considering the empty roads.
I cross town in a matter of minutes, and pull up outside the apartment I share with Viv. Lights are off inside, but the flicker of the television says she’s settled in for a thrilling Thursday night of murder mysteries, or a documentary on the Discovery channel.
Whatever she’s doing, she cankeepdoing it.
I cut my engine and snatch my keys, then pushing inside and through the door, I continue walking when Viv sits forward on the couch and opens her mouth to speak.
“I’m going to bed,” I grunt.
I toss my keys to the floor somewhere in the hall and stop only when I cross the threshold of my bedroom. I slam the door shut, leave my light off, and in the dark, I drag my jeans down, rescuing my phone before it hits the floor.
Don’t do it, Hannah Sullivan. Don’t you dare do it.
But I’m still young, right? Still impulsive. So I open my phone to my photo gallery, scroll back past hundreds, perhaps thousands, of images of the food I’ve made this past year. Collapsing onto my bed in panties and peeling my shirt up, I stop on the albums of my life before the Oriane fire.
Me and Axel Feeney, practically joined at the hip. Laughing faces. Warm cheeks. Dancing eyes.
I scroll and scroll and scroll, so the movement of our photos is almost a video.
