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And then he pulled away and swept me off my feet.
We were out of our cave and running through the forest a moment later, with me leaning up against his neck and gripping his fur for dear life.
I was sodamn tense that a few minutes after we started running, Teris realized he needed to distract me.
“My mated brothers were talking about their bonds a few weeks ago,”Teris said into my mind.“They mentioned something that sounds interesting.”
My tension faded slightly. He knew he had me.“What did they say?”
“There’s a way to temporarily break through the wall separating our minds,”he explained.“Apparently, it makes for really great sex.”
I snorted.“I don’t think we need any help on that front.”
He chuckled.“Want to try it tonight?”
My humor faded.“Assuming we’re still alive tonight?”
“We’ll be fine, Nai. Trust me.”
“I do. Mostly. Ish.”
“Your confidence is inspiring,”he drawled, and I heard the humor in his voice.
“Tell me about the last twenty years,”I said quietly.“I feel like I missed so much.”
“You really didn’t. They were lonely years.”His voice grew quieter, too.“To have everything, and then lose it all to the unseelie king… it was a lot to cope with. I made decisions I’ll regret for the rest of my life.”
My throat swelled.
Though my initial feelings that followed his words were guilt, I tried to push through them. Teris’s pain wasn’t my fault any more than it was his fault. We had a misunderstanding, on both sides.
“What happened?”
“I’d rather not discuss it,”he admitted.
Oh.
I didn’t push him anymore.
I understand not wanting to talk about things; some things were hard.
A few minutes passed, and the tension in my chest grew. I was worrying about Teris’s past, now, on top of the creatures I was going to have to deal with.
“I harmed myself,”Teris finally said, his voice barely above a whisper, even in my mind.“It was the lowest I have ever been, and the worst I have ever felt. None of my brothers knew; I clawed back from the darkness before I did any permanent damage to myself. I’m stronger now, because of that hell I survived. I know how to cope with the dark emotions, now.”
My eyes stung.“I’m so sorry.”
“It wasn’t your fault, Nai. You didn’t know any better than I did.”
“I wish I’d just swallowed my pride and used your name. Everything would’ve been so different.”My tears fell into Teris’s fur, and I gripped him tighter.
“Holding on to the pain of the past brings nothing but misery and regret, and I don’t want you miserable, Nai. I want you happier than you’ve ever been, feeling more alive than you’ve ever felt. I am who I am now because of what I survived, the same way you are.”
“I don’t even know how I’ve changed. Or if I’ve changed. Or how to accept any of it,”I admitted.
“You’re more cautious than you used to be. More uncertain of yourself, too. But I’ll train you out of that uncertainty soon enough. The caution, we should probably keep. I think I could use a little of that in my life.”
I sputtered a laugh, and felt his soft chuckle in my mind.
