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“And you think by spanking me, I’ll remember?”
“Yes, I do.”
He was serious, his ruthless demeanor showing through but there were so many layers to the man, a complexity that would take years to comprehend. I knew all he wanted to do was protect me. This was his way of guiding me into a full understanding of his brutal world.
“Trust me enough to tell me about her.”
He didn’t flinch or pull away. But as he pulled my palm to his lips, I shuddered visibly. There was a shadow lingering over him, a gray cloud of swirling emotions that was easy to read. He returned to the bar, pulling out a bottle of wine, immediately hunting for a wine opener. I had a feeling he was stalling but I had no intention of rushing him.
After pouring a glass, his expression remained unreadable as he moved in my direction, allowing the tip of his index finger to touch mine while handing me a glass. “I met Carrie when I was twenty-four. I’d just gotten my master’s degree and was serving as my father’s lieutenant. I was eager and dangerous and more arrogant than you accuse me of being now. I met a girl in a bakery one morning. I’d jumped in front of her in line and she was having none of it.”
“Good for her.”
He laughed, but the bitterness was just below the surface. “She told me off without any hesitation, demanding that I take a step back. I think I fell in love with her at that very moment, but she wanted nothing to do with me. Eventually, I wore her down, but not before groveling.”
“I’ll need to keep in mind you can be trained.”
The look he gave me could light a hundred cities, his nostrils flaring and his mouth twisting from hunger. “Hmmm… Be careful, little girl. You’re already treading on thin ice for misbehaving.”
“Me? Never.”
Sadly, the banter did nothing to alleviate the pain tearing through him. “After our first date, we were almost inseparable. The time we shared was incredible.”
“What did she do?”
He moved to his desk, easing onto the edge. “She was an elementary school teacher.”
“Whoa. Dating the big, bad mafia dude?”
“Yeah, well, she had no idea about my family. She was new in town and had never heard of me. Granted, I wasn’t in the news at that point in my life. I was little more than a foot soldier with a title. My father wasn’t the kind of man to allow any of his children to ascend to the throne without busting our butts.”
“But you kept what you did from her.”
“Yeah.” He took a sip of his drink, afterwards staring into the amber liquid. “When she did find out, she broke it off without giving it a second thought.”
“I don’t blame her.”
The corner on one side of his mouth curled as he studied me. “She was far too innocent to be corrupted by my world. But I was incensed, furious with her. I refused to stop bugging her. At school. Where she lived. She was going to listen to me.”
“She wouldn’t listen to you.”
“Nope. She told me one night that the most painful part of loving someone was finding out just how deceptive they’ve been.”
I walked closer, sensing a significant shift in his mood. “Was that the last time you saw her?”
“It was.”
“I’m really sorry. Maybe she just couldn’t handle the danger. Did you try and talk to her after everything had settled?”
“You don’t understand. She was a bright shining star that I allowed to be snuffed out. She was seen as a weakness, a way to get to me. She was used as a pawn to destroy me. I allowed my emotions to show. I was too young and too naïve to comprehend the dangers of caring about anyone. My father warned me, but I wanted a life like he had with my mother. I didn’t see the dangers. I refused to accept that I couldn’t have a normal life. I was selfish and because of that, she lost her life.”
Where there’d been no emotions before, now his voice was filled with them. I moved between his legs, taking his drink from his hand, placing both on the desk. Then I pressed my palms against his chest. “What happened?”
“She was attacked in her apartment. I can’t imagine what she endured before they finally ended her life.” A lump formed in his throat, his jaw clenching with force. “She’s dead because I wanted her.”
As I crowded his space, he grabbed my hips, clinging to me as his chest rose and fell. The shock was horrifying, a cold chill coursing through me. “I don’t know what to say.”
“There’s nothing you can say. I accepted responsibility for my actions. And I tracked down the person responsible.”
