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“It was someone you trusted. Wasn’t it?”
This time when he laughed, the evil tone sent a skittering of ice through my veins. “It was someone my father trusted. His underboss, Thanos, a man I considered a fucking mentor. He was second to the throne, but he knew better than to believe he would ever take my father’s place. Even worse. He was treated like family. He was told he’d always have a role in the upper echelon but that wasn’t enough. He retaliated the way he knew would hurt the most.”
“And he couldn’t kill you.”
“Oh, hell, no. My father is the kind of man who would move heaven and hell to find out what happened. The bastard thought making me weak in the eyes of the other soldiers as well as my father would pave the road to the throne in gold. He learned just how wrong he was.”
The joy exuding from every word should have horrified me, but the crazy thought running through my mind was that the man deserved it.
“No one takes what belongs to me. No one touches them. Don’t you see why I refuse to accept this bullshit?” He asked the question as if it was important for me to answer.
“Yes, but I’m not Carrie. I’m so sorry you lost someone you cared about, but you need to let it go and live. I won’t live with a ghost.”
“There is no room in my life for a ghost, baby. Yet you’re just as vulnerable as she was. I don’t want to lose you, but I won’t have your life placed in jeopardy. That’s not fair to you on any level. While I am still arrogant, I’m not the same man I was fifteen years ago. You’re far too important to me.”
“You said you loved me.” The ache was worse than before, my mind fuzzy from just thinking about leaving. How had things changed so dramatically in just a few short days?
“My God, woman. Can’t you see how much I do love you? That’s the reason I’m willing to let you go. Nothing can happen to you. Nothing. It would kill me.” He rubbed his thumb across my jaw, his nostrils flaring as his actions became rougher.
“Does that mean you want me out of your life?” The ache in my stomach and heart shocked me. I wrapped my fingers around his shirt, allowing my expression to demand an answer.
“My beautiful creature. I don’t want you going anywhere, but through your eyes, I was reminded of the reason I fell in love with Carrie in the first place. Because she had nothing to do with this life. Nothing. She was a taste of innocence. You’re a taste of everything. The way the sun comes up in the morning, the first second as it crosses over the horizon. You’re the stars as they make their beautiful ascension every night, sparkling like a field full of fireflies on a hot summer night. And you’re the intensity of a roaring fire, flames searing every stick of wood. I have no right to keep you in a gilded cage. You deserve to fly free. In other words, it’s your choice. But not until this is finished. Until then, you aren’t safe. The question is: What do you want?”
His possessive nature would never change, and what the man was offering was already killing him. He’d shown me more passion than I’d ever experienced in my life. I hadn’t just been awakened as if from a deep slumber. I’d been brought to life for the first time, breathing the same sweet air that he did.
“I don’t want to leave you, Phoenix. Your world is crazy and dangerous, unpredictable and violent, but when I’m in your arms, everything is exciting. I don’t know what will happen between us or in the future, but you did ask me to marry you. It would seem you suddenly have memory issues. I did say yes. Do you need me to refresh that memory?” I teased, trailing my finger between his buttons.
The low-slung growl remained, the sound electrifying. “What I need is for you to learn to obey me. No more secrets. No lies. Period. If you need something, you ask. If you want honest answers, you ask. But you will obey me. Now, remove your clothes.”
He issued a deep-throated growl as he pulled me tightly against him. The rich, evocative scent of him was almost overwhelming, tingling every part of my body. As always when I was with him, I was lightheaded, a raging forest of fires sparking deep inside.
The road wouldn’t be easy, danger lurking just beyond the horizon, but the old saying was right.
The heart wants what it wants.
CHAPTER21
“To fear is to expect punishment. To love is to know we are immersed not in darkness, but in light.”
—Mother Teresa
Whitney
Punishment.
The thought wasn’t nearly as daunting as it had been before, almost as if in accepting the necessary discipline, I was asking for forgiveness. Maybe I was. His command was stern but fair. I didn’t fear his anger or the pain I was fully aware I’d experience. I was content in knowing that the release of my frustration and uncertainty would be welcome.
As crazy as that would sound to someone else.
“I’m not kidding, Whitney. I will not have you disrespecting me in front of my men, my family, or anyone else for that matter.” No longer was there any anger in his voice, just a stern level of heat that created a series of tingling sensations.
My skin was already on fire, my mind spiraling to dozens of filthy thoughts. Every deep syllable coming from his mouth yanked on my arousal. After what I’d been through, that alone should be a clear indication I was certifiable. I dragged my tongue across my lips in a blatant attempt to convince him to allow me to slide.
The smirk on his face told me that wouldn’t happen.
“Fine.” I couldn’t help myself, my defiance brimming the surface. He shook his head, and I had a feeling I’d pay for all my indiscretions in one painful round of discipline.
And I craved it.
