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“Nothing’s wrong?” I say with a laugh so nervous that it has to be painfully obvious to him that I’m lying.
“Something is wrong.”
“Not wrong, just… news. I have news,” I say.
He pats the couch beside him, but I refuse to sit down.
“This is big news,” I say, needlessly building the tension. It’s already thick enough to cut, floating in the air between us like orange marmalade.
Danya tilts his head forward, looking at me expectantly. “So, what’s the news? Do I need to be worried about this?”
“Only if you don’t want to be a father,” I reply, pulling out the pregnancy test and holding it out with a stiff arm. “I’m pregnant!”
He leans back, putting both hands on his head as his eyes widen. Slowly, his alarmed expression morphs into the biggest grin I’ve ever seen from him. “We’re having a baby?”
I nod, tears coming to my eyes. Fuck, I wish I wasn’t so emotional all the time.
“That’s great news!” he exclaims, jumping up and rushing toward me. He grabs me, lifting me up and twirling me around a few times. “We’re having a baby!”
My heart leaps at his response. I had thought of a thousand different reactions he could have, and somehow, this wasn’t one of them. How could I have assumed the worst when all he’s ever wanted for me was the best?
Danya puts me down, beaming wildly. “I’m so happy!”
I laugh, unable to do anything else but smile with him. He’s projecting his feeling so strongly that it’s as though they’re radiating deep into my skin, filling me with joy at the idea of having his baby.
His smile is only temporary, though, and it fades after a moment, replaced with a tight frown.
My stomach drops. “What’s wrong?” I ask, already feeling guilty for no reason.
“We need to think of a name,” he replies, rubbing his chin.
“Oh my God, you scared me! Don’t do that,” I say, punching his arm.
He laughs, rubbing the spot I hit. “Okay, but do you have any ideas?”
I shrug. “Well, it depends on if it’s a boy or a girl.”
“It could always be twins.”
I press my palm into my forehead. “Oh no, don’t say that. I think one is enough.”
His hand finds my waist, pulling me close to him again. “You’re going to do great, Taylor. I can’t imagine anyone being as good a mother as you’re going to be.”
I raise an eyebrow. “I’m severely fucked up, but okay.”
“Don’t say that. You know it’s not true.”
“No?”
“To me, you’re perfect,” he says, putting a kiss on my forehead. “I wouldn’t change you for the world.”
I snuggle closer to him, feeling the heat of his strong body and knowing that whatever happens, he will be there for me. I can trust him. He’s proven to me so many times that he’s on my side, and that I don’t need to be worried anymore.
But I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t at least a little afraid. Having a baby is no small task, especially not when you’re cooped up in Antarctica without a doctor. We can’t stay here.
I look up at Danya, studying the delicate flecks of blue in his eyes. I wonder if our child will look like him. I’d love to see a little baby Danya running around our house in a diaper. I can almost hear the sound of his little feet on the floor.
I smile, hugging Danya harder before pulling away and looking up at him again. “I have to go to the doctor at some point, right?”
