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And the decision is obvious when I realize why Vera is running toward me.
I release Theo from my grasp and rush towards Vera, firing shots at Derick, who continues to shoot into the crowd. The intensity of the atmosphere around us is increasing by the second, and I can feel the pressure mounting.
I manage to hit Derick once in the shoulder, narrowly missing his chest. Despite having successfully landed a shot on my prime target, there is no sense of satisfaction or triumph.
I need him dead, or all this is for nothing.
I aim again and fire as he tries to turn to flee, hitting him in the back. The bullet must’ve broken his spine because he collapses to the ground immediately, lying there lifelessly as people jump over him to safety.
Vera's screams pierce through any accomplishment I could feel in the face of revenge. Her presence is a factor that has never existed in a fight like this, and I'm overwhelmed with a renewed sense of urgency to save her.
“What happened to Yan?” I shout as I meet Vera behind the cover of a brick building. It's the only stable structure in the midst of the storm of people whipping violently around us.
“Ruslan, I'm sorry. There was nothing I could do,” she cries, falling into my arms the moment I reach out to embrace her.
One glance back to the spot where she ran from, and I see that Yan has been hit. I'm not close enough to determine if he's breathing, but I know that I only have a few minutes to save him if there’s even a slim chance that he's still alive.
Escaping without being spotted by the police is our top priority right now. The grief, victory, and panic will all resurface at some point, but that's a problem for another day.
I rush over to Yan's body and grab him, sprinting away from the scene as the police start filtering through the crowd. He's incredibly heavy, but I'd rather die than leave the man who raised me to bleed out on the ground like cattle.
My mind is entirely focused on the urgency of the situation. We must escape before the police catch us, or this has all been a massive waste.
Nevertheless, I can't help feeling a rush of pride emanating from my chest.
We've taken down the monster responsible for my brother's death, and we can live out our lives in peace in his memory.
As we weave through the crowds, I think about how much I've changed. In the not-so-distant past, I was consumed by my desire for revenge, and I would never have released Theo.
But now, thanks to Vera, I have the courage to push past my hatred and live for something bigger than myself. It's a strange feeling, but a good one. I'm not alone anymore. Vera is by my side, and together, we can face anything.
We eventually reach the parking lot and take a moment to catch our breaths. Vera is standing next to me, and I know we have a long way to go before any semblance of true relief can be found. But for now, at least we're safe.
“It's over. It's finally over,” I say, watching as the police and paramedics descend into the carnage wrought of the fairgrounds.
She doesn’t respond. Instead, her hand finds my shoulder, and the warmth of her palm soothes me enough to center myself and focus on the task ahead.
The energy in the atmosphere is still intense, but it's different now. It's not the same kind of chaos and danger we faced at the fairgrounds. It's the buzz of excitement and possibility. Despite everything, I feel alive.
I carry Yan’s body to the car, struggling under his formidable weight as his blood runs down my back. My mind is still racing, swirling with emotions I haven't felt since I was a child. The loss of Yan and Misha so close together has created a void in me that will take years to crawl out of.
Vera is walking alongside me, her hand on my back for support.
“Are you okay?” she asks me, concern etched on her face.
I can only nod in response. I don't trust myself to speak. My mind is too jumbled, too full of conflicting emotions that might work their way out in the wrong way. The last thing I want to do is say something I can’t take back, even if it’s well-meaning.
We make our way to the car in silence, but there’s a buzzing in my chest from the love I feel for Vera. Her strength has spared me from facing this horrific tragedy alone, and I don’t know how I would carry on without her.
I open the trunk and carefully place Yan’s body inside, trying to use as much care and gentleness as possible. Vera is still standing beside me, watching the world pass through us as police and paramedics rush to into the fairgrounds.
I turn to look at her, taking in the bruises and cuts on her face. I hate that she had to go through this all over again. I hate that I couldn't protect her better.
“I’m so sorry about Yan,” she whispers, scraping for something more reassuring before she realizes that there’s nothing she could say to make this right.
I attempt to respond, but any thought of acknowledging Yan’s death makes my throat close up. We stand silently for a few moments as I close the trunk, careful not to slam it out of respect.
“Why did you let Theo go?” she asks, pivoting to a different point in this tragedy to distract me.
