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“I couldn't let anything happen to you. Derick was going to kill you if I didn’t do something. I had to make a hard choice, but I chose you,” I say, my voice low.
She gives me a small, sincere smile. “You’re an incredible man, Ruslan. Misha would be so proud of you.”
We stand there for a few more moments, the knowledge of a long battle of healing laid before us. I know that I need to drive us away from here, but I can't seem to bring myself to move.
Finally, Vera breaks the silence. “What are we going to do now?”
I shake my head. “I don't know. We'll have to figure it out as we go.”
For once, I don’t have an answer. I don’t know what the future holds. This whole experience has shown me that the universe will take your plans and shred them in front of you, tossing their remains at your feet.
She nods, accepting my response without explanation. “Do you need me to drive?”
I hesitate for a moment, struggling with my ego before handing her the keys. “Yeah. I think I need a minute.”
She takes the keys and slides into the driver's seat. I watch her for a moment before getting into the passenger side, noting her curiosity at the opportunity to drive my car.
I’m sure she’s been in luxury vehicles before given her background with a rich college, but I won’t be able to relax until she’s shown some confidence in her driving.
As she starts the car, I can't help but think about everything that's happened as the images settle into my mind, ready to haunt me forever.
Losing Yan, avenging Misha, and saving Vera's life - it's all too much to process at once. But as we drive away from the fair, leaving the violence behind us, I know that we'll make it through this as long as we have each other.
Riding down the highway, I can't help but feel a sense of numbness settle over me. It's not that I don't feel anything – on the contrary, I'm feeling a million different things at once. But they're all mixed together in a way that makes it hard to single out one emotion.
Vera is sitting beside me as she drives, and I keep my hand on her leg as she carries us down the road back home. It's a small gesture, but it means the world to me that she would take on the responsibility of getting us back safe when I’ve been robbed of my faculties.
I turn to her, wanting desperately to express my gratitude, but the words get stuck in my throat.
Instead, I reach for her hand and squeeze it, knowing that she understands what I'm wordlessly trying to say.
The rest of the drive is quiet. We can’t talk about what happened, not yet. It's too fresh, too raw. We need time to grieve, to come to terms with what we've done and who we've lost.
I feel a surge of love for her as I watch her rub her tired eyes. She's so strong, so resilient, and so much more supportive than I ever could have expected her to be.
I never thought I'd fall in love with someone like her, someone who might as well be from another planet given how different our circumstances have been.
But here we are, expecting a baby as we face the toughest challenge of both our lives together.
“I love you, Vera,” I say, my voice filled with emotion.
She pauses, gasping a bit at the sudden shock of my confession.
“I love you too, Ruslan,” she replies, squeezing my hand.
We fall silent again, and I can feel her gaze on me. I turn to her and she smiles at me, a soft, gentle smile that makes my heart skip a beat.
But there's still work to be done, and I can’t leave Yan without a proper burial.
“Hey, take the next left up here. We have one last thing to do before we leave this all behind.”
33
Vera
Ican’t shake off the guilt that’s weighing on me.
Yan’s death was directly my fault, and I don't know how to make it right. If Yan didn’t feel like Ruslan entrusted him to protect me, he would have been able to seek shelter before he got shot. I have no doubt that Yan had seen many firefights in his day, and likely could have responded with a swift and experienced hand.
