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“What the hell is going on in here?” Tyson asks, looking between me and the man. “Are you alright?”
“I’m fine,” I say, pressing my knife against the man’s throat until a thin line of blood appears.
For a moment, I consider killing him. My father will expect me to deal with the potential kidnapper myself. I’m torn, though. I don’t want to be my father. Killing a man is exactly what my father would do.
There was a time when I wouldn’t have given a second thought to killing the man. I would have done it easily and called in one of the capos to deal with my mess.
Now, I’m not sure that I’m capable of that anymore.
“You deal with him,” I say, getting off the man and handing Tyson my knife. “You need some brownie points with my father.”
Tyson rolls his eyes but takes the knife and tucks it into his pocket. “Lock your balcony door before I leave and get your gun out of your closet. I don’t want to leave you alone without knowing that you can defend yourself.”
I roll my eyes and look down at the man. “I think I’m able to handle myself just fine.”
“Just do it, Aria, and stop arguing with me.”
I smirk and cross the room, locking the balcony door before disappearing into my closet to grab my gun. When I head back out of the closet, I make it a point of checking to make sure the magazine is loaded before climbing back into bed.
“Get him out of here,” I say, checking the safety on the gun before hiding it beneath a pillow. “Make sure that nobody sees you and come up with a good story about how you killed him and where you took the body.”
“That means that I have to leave you alone for a few hours,” Tyson says, his eyes narrowing as he looks at me. “What are you up to?”
“Have you ever considered trusting people more?” I ask, giving him a sweet smile before leaning back against my pillows.
I make a show of closing my eyes and snuggling into the blankets. When I hear Tyson escort the man out, I wait a few moments. The second I open my eyes, Tyson is glancing over his shoulder from the hallway.
“I mean it, Aria. Don’t do anything stupid. I’ll be back soon.”
I roll my eyes and motion at him to close the door. Tyson sighs and closes the door.
For a few minutes, I sit up in bed and stare at the balcony. I’m tired of constantly being watched. There is no privacy in the life I live. Even though Tyson is sleeping in another bedroom, he’s still close enough to hear everything I’m doing.
The lack of privacy and trust drives me insane. Sometimes, I just need to be alone with my thoughts but I can’t do that if there’s always someone watching over me.
I wait for another half hour, making sure that Tyson really is gone before getting out of bed. After pulling on a pair of jeans and a sweatshirt, I sneak out of the house. It doesn’t take much effort to climb down from my balcony to the ground below.
Avoiding the guards that wander the grounds is a little harder but after years of sneaking around, I know their rotations.
By the time I get to the gate, I’m already feeling guilty for sneaking out on Tyson. I shove the guilt to the side as I climb over the gate and drop down to the other side. I may feel guilty for potentially getting him in trouble with my father, but the trouble won’t be too bad. It isn’t the first time that I’ve snuck away from my security and it won’t be the last.
Instead of heading to a club like I used to, I start walking to the local cemetery. Erin is buried there and it has been too long since I’ve seen her. I need someone to talk to and she was the only person who understood me.
The moon shines high over the streets and the stars are sparkling against the dark of the night. I keep my hood pulled over my head as I walk with my hands in my pockets, not wanting to draw attention to myself.
When I get to the cemetery, there is nobody there. I’m grateful that none of the workers are around as I take the winding path to Erin’s grave.
There are daisies littering the tombstone and tears burn in my eyes. Daisies were always Erin’s favorite flower. I wipe away the tears with the sleeve of my sweater and sit down on the foot of her grave, staring at the flowers.
“I wish you were here right now,” I say as I cross my legs. “I never thought I’d be going through life without you. I guess that’s what happens when you decide to walk away from the mafia, though.”
I sigh and push my hood down to run a hand through my hair. There are so many things I want to say to her but I don’t know if my dad has the tombstone being watched or not. I doubt it, but lately his decisions have been irrational at best.
“I wish I knew why you decided to turn your back on my family,” I say, the lump in my throat threatening to choke me. “I thought that you had a good life with us. I wish you would’ve felt like you could have talked to me about everything you were going through. You might still be here if you had.”
The wind blows softly and the scent of daisies wafts toward me. I grin and wipe another round of tears from my eyes as I shift my position, pulling my knees to my chest. For a moment, it’s easy to imagine that we’re sixteen again and sitting in my room. We’re talking about everything that we want out of life and it feels like nothing in the world can touch us.
“I miss you every single fucking day,” I say, reaching out to run my fingers over the name carved into her tombstone. “I didn’t think that it would ever be possible to miss a person this much, but I do.”
