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“Momma, I felt like I was flying!” she says excitedly, her voice making a whistling sound as she talks through one missing front tooth.
She hurries past me to my little picnic and starts drinking my glass of lemonade. I turn to smile at Chase as he saunters forward. He wraps one arm around my waist and dips me back slightly as he kisses me hard on the mouth. When he picks me back up his hand slips under my short dress and gives my rear end a quick squeeze.
I slap his chest playfully and roll my eyes.
“What? She didn’t see anything! All she can see is how many strawberries she can eat before you come back there and finish the rest!” Chase laughs, whipping a strawberry seed off my chin and cupping my belly. “How are my boys?”
I smile and lean against his chest. “Fighting for dominance. I think raising these ones will be harder than we ever expected.” I sigh and lose my eyes as my mate holds me close and the sound of our daughter’s laughter fills the air.
This is heaven, it has to be.
I begin to stir awake, but I pinch my eyes shut. I will not leave this bed. I will not leave this dream. Not until it can become my reality.
Curling into myself, I stroke my flat stomach, remembering how it felt to be big and round.
I could be growing our little girl right now.
Chapter11
Chase
“Iknow, I’m sorry, I’m not giving up,” I say, holding Grace’s hands in both of mine.
We’re in her trailer, a few spaces away from mine, sitting at her table while her younger children play in her bedroom in the back. The trailer is quaint, minimalist style, everything is white and very clean even as her wild children are covered in dirt from a day of playing outside.
“I don’t know what to do without him, Chase. Brody looked after his siblings while I worked my shift at the gas station. I haven’t been able to make my shifts to feed my family, and the whole time I worry about finances I’m tortured with what could have happened to my baby…”
Grace is nothing short of beautiful, her plump body and cherub cheeks make her a desirable partner, and she’s an amazing woman on top of it all. Before I met Ruby I was planning on stepping up for Grace, taking over her hardships and raising her children. Now? I thank the moon I never told anyone that plan. Part of me feels unbearably guilty for changing my mind, for choosing Ruby, but fate chose my path. There’s nothing that can be done to change it even if I wanted to, and kicking myself over not being able to be there for this woman is only going to cause us both more pain and misery.
I reach into my pocket of my leather jacket and pull out my wallet, laying a stack of bills in front of her. It’s everything I’ve made as the pack tracker and freelance work I do for the local police. Grace’s eyes fill with tears and my heart fills with guilt at the knowledge that I can't do any more than I’m already doing. Grace’s mate died in a hunt gone wrong about three years ago, her youngest is the last thing she has of him and she’ll be three in July.
I close my eyes and squeeze Grace’s hand as she sobs and tells me she can't accept it, in my mind I pray to the moon that there’s a true mate for her waiting to be discovered, while out loud I ignore her protests. “You’re a member of our pack, and the pack protects its members. If I let your pups starve while I look for Brody, I’d never forgive myself. I’ll find him, Grace, and I’ll ask Ryder to have a word with Gavin. Your job will be waiting for you when you get back or I’ll find you a better one. I promise.”
The kids come running out, jumping all over me, and I hug them all tight. I’ve always wanted my own pups, but it never seemed to happen for me. Now I know it’s because I was waiting for Ruby all this time. I ruffle their shaggy hair and tickle the littlest one, making her squeal loudly. Grace cracks a hesitant smile, battling her depression for her children.
“Hey, Uncle Chase? Have you caught any nasty critters lately?” her eight-year-old son asks.
I raise an eyebrow and grin at him like a sly fox. “You wouldn’t believe how nasty this last one was, kiddo, check it out!” I pull a chain from around my neck and show him the massive claw from the bear.
Using wire, I wound a ruby I’d found in the mountains to the raw end of the nail. I watch Grace’s eyes as I show her children the piece and they light up with fascination. Hopefully Ruby will like it as much as the kids and Grace do. I sanded the claw and painted it with sealant, making it shine with deadly sharp beauty. The ruby at the top sparkles brightly, reflecting off the claw like a beacon.
“A grizzly bear tried to eat me! I got the best of him though, and now I have his pelt as well as his teeth and nails outside my trailer. I’ll make that bear my blanket, to pay him back for this.” I drop my jacket off my shoulder, pulling my black t-shirt to the side to show them the huge scars from the bear's claws.
The children gasp, and Grace’s eyes fill with tears and she excuses herself from the table.
“That horrible bear!” Her little five-year-old daughter shouts, while the three-year-old tries to chew on the claw.
“Horrible, indeed,” Grace mutters, smiling sadly, as she steps outside to smoke.
I ruffle the kids' hair and follow her out. “I’m sorry, Grace, I wasn't thinking. That must have reminded you of—”
“Please! Don’t say his name, if you say his name now I…I…” She sobs, unable to light her own cigarette, so I take my zippo lighter out and hold it up for her. She thanks me, sighing deeply as the first drag seems to soothe her. “You don’t need to tiptoe around me, Chase. I’m a grown woman. I should be stronger than this, but losing him…and now Brody missing…”
“I know, I know… I just worry, Grace. Worry about you and the kids while I’m not here to provide and I’m out searching for your son. Are you guys going to be okay?”
“I know you do…we’ll survive…we always do.” She sighs and wipes tears from her face.
“Grace, all I want for you is your happiness. Let me know if there’s anything more I can do to ensure you find it.”
