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Of course, I was.
Fuck.
“That hurts, Nerida. You know I’d do absolutely anything for you.”
“Anything but tell my parents about us.”
“I will. I was thinking up a way to tell them tonight before you barged in here and started yelling at me.”
She narrowed her eyes. “If that’s true, let’s go tell them together. Right now. Hand in hand. Heart with heart. Let’s tell them that we’ve been in love for years and have no intention of ever being separated.”
“Just because we have no intention of being separated, Neri, doesn’t mean it won’t happen.”
“Nope.” She shook her head with violent denial. “When and if you get found out, I’ll just come with you. They can’t stop me from going to Turkey with you.”
“I would stop you.” I looked at her from beneath my brows. “I’ve told you before and I’ll tell you again. You are never stepping foot in that country. You will never see the beauty of my homeland or experience the gorgeous people or the relics and vast history. Never, do you hear me?”
She scoffed. “Why? Because your parents thought Australia would offer you a better life? I’ve researched Istanbul, Aslan. I’ve been in forums online with people who love living in Izmir and Ankara and—”
“My home is stunning; I am not denying that. The culture, the people, the cities, and history...I miss it with every fucking part of me. But my parents weren’t running from Turkey. They were running from—” I snapped my lips together.
Despite breaking one promise to Jack that I’d never touch Neri, I hadn’t broken my other one. The very first one I’d made when he’d offered me homemade pizza and a chance at survival. He’d made me vow I would never tell Neri why I couldn’t go home. That I would be tortured and butchered. He’d never asked me for details, and like most things about me, we swept my past and what I was running from under the proverbial rug.
But he knew I would die.
And I had no intention of scaring Neri with that awful truth.
It was enough that I had to carry that fear. The worry that deportation didn’t just mean our life would be moved to a different country together...it would mean my death and her becoming a widow.
Her forehead furrowed as a dangerous spark appeared in her stare. “What are you running from? Finish what you were going to say.”
“I can’t.” I crossed my arms. “All you need to know is, I need to stay here. With you. Under any and all circumstances.”
“Any circumstances being, you’re willing to live your entire life working for my parents, never rocking the boat, and putting all your dreams on hold?”
“You. You are my dream, Nerida. I don’t need anything else.”
“But you do!” she cried. “That’s what this is all about, Aslan! You’re sad. You’re most likely depressed from not dealing with what happened. I can love you all I want. I can shower you with all my affection, but it won’t heal you in the way you need to heal.”
“Don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine—”
“But I do worry! Are you not listening! I worry that you might never tell my parents. That you think this is just a fling for me. Perhaps you’re just biding your time until I go to university, and then you’ll let me go as if we were just childhood friends who grew apart.”
“I would never do that. I’ll come with you—”
“And do what, huh? How will you earn a living? How will we get a joint lease? How will you buy a car or even drive that car, or go to the damn dentist for a check-up? How will you buy a TV that isn’t with cash under the table?”
My anger turned to sickness. None of those questions were new to me. I worried over each of them like tespih beads in the dark. “I don’t know, askim. All I know is I love you—”
“If that’s true, then let’s go. Right now.” She held out her hand, her towel slipping to her waist and revealing perfect breasts barely hidden beneath silver Lycra.
I pinched the bridge of my nose and groaned. “Don’t push me. Not tonight. I think we should let tempers cool and—”
“You came down my throat today.”
My eyes shot to hers as I dropped my hand. “What...what are you saying?”
Fuck, she wouldn’t tell Jack that...would she?
“Are you...are you threatening me?” I breathed coldly.
“I’m saying you’ve already come inside me and...” She suddenly sighed and looked at the exposed rafter and plywood ceiling. “God, I don’t know what I’m saying.”
“Like I said, tempers are high. We should calm down before we do something rash.” Stepping into her, I tried to wrap her in a hug, but she backed away from me.
I sighed heavily. “Let’s just go for a swim and—”
