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But...how had I known?
How were we so linked that I’d felt her?
My pulse raced, and the depth of what I felt for her surged through me. I wanted to shake her, kiss her, scold her, embrace her.
I wanted to be gentle with her.
But...fuck, I was livid.
Beyond livid.
I was terrified.
What if I hadn’t found her in time?
What if she’d ended up in a ditch or smuggled to a different country?
What if I never saw her again?
My heart stopped, and I pinched her chin, keeping her head tipped back.
She moaned and tried to push me away, but I didn’t let her. “How much did you drink?” Her stare was overly dilated. She couldn’t stay focused on me. Her nostrils flared as if she couldn’t catch a proper breath, and her lips looked slightly swollen.
Another gush of cold fear filled me.
“Are you high?” I grabbed her cheeks with both hands, forcing her to stand still, all while she wobbled. “Fucking hell, you’re stoned, aren’t you? You mixed alcohol and drugs? Fuck’s sake, Neri.”
Curling into herself, she hugged the cardigan tighter around her body as I let her go. I scowled. Something was off about that piece of clothing... “That’s not yours. I’ve never seen that jumper before.”
Neri hunched even deeper into herself.
I dragged both hands through my hair. “Wait...I saw you grab it from a chair. Did you...did you steal that? Fucking hell, this night just keeps getting worse. Now you’re a thief as well as a drunk and stoner? What the hell is going on with you?”
“I-I’ll bwring it ba-back...tomorrwow.” Her shoulders rolled, and she swayed into the tree.
My stomach lurched to catch her. My heart begged me to be kind.
But if her parents saw her in this condition, she’d be grounded for a month. How much of this could I hide from Jack and Anna? My mind raced with damage control. “Is Zara as drunk as you? Are her parents here? Stupid question. ’Course they’re not here. Chances are both of you have alcohol poisoning and—”
“Zara didn’t do...” Her voice cracked. “Zara didn’t help—”
“Didn’t help with what? Give you more booze? More drugs? You should be ashamed, Neri. You know better than this. You—”
“Aslan...” She hiccupped and brushed at the tears falling down her face. “Please...don’t—”
“Don’t what? Tell you what you need to hear?” Fear from seeing my cousin falling in with the wrong crowd back in Turkey raged through me. She’d been so close to being raped one night. She’d been so lucky my uncle found her in time. And it was her fault my uncle was dead the next night. I loved my cousin, but because of her reckless endangerment, she’d marked my entire family for death.
I won’t let Neri fall down the same slippery slope.
“Please...I just need to...” Spinning around, she hugged the tree and vomited violently into the flowers.
Instinct made me shoot forward and grab her hair, gathering the silky softness at her nape while her body retched and purged.
“That’s it. Better out than in. It’s okay,” I soothed, rubbing between her shoulder blades. She shivered and moaned as another retch worked through her. “It’s okay, askim benim. I’m here. I’ll take care of you.”
A sob broke through her lips, her entire ribcage cracking at the sound. “You...I...I begged. And you...didn’t—” She convulsed with another sob.
The keening noises coming from her brought fucking tears to my eyes.
“Neri.” Horror sliced through me. “Hey, it’s okay...” Gathering her up, I turned her to face me. Her face shot white and sweaty, her lips tinged with grey. “You’re alright. I’ve got you. I’m so sorry I yelled. I didn’t mean to, okay? I just...I’m so worried about you, and I got caught up in all the things that could’ve gone wrong—”
She cried harder, falling into my arms.
She was so loose and heavy, so intoxicated and hurting. All my anger washed away, leaving me trembling with need to keep her close and make her the same happy, wonderfully perfect girl I’d fallen head over heels for.
She felt both icy and sweaty in my arms. Both shaky and small.
Fury for how I’d treated her roared through my blood. I cracked beneath the knowledge that I was responsible for this. If we hadn’t fought...
My arms turned into vises around her. “I’m so sorry, Nerida. I didn’t mean to be so hard on you. This is my fault, isn’t it? You came here because of me...” I whispered into her knotty hair. “You drank because of what I said? That kissing you was a mistake?”
She flinched and doubled over in my arms.
My heart twisted into two as I clutched her so damn hard. “I’m so sorry. Ben çok üzgünüm. I hate that we fought. I fucking hate it. I love you, hayatim. You weren’t a mistake. Fuck, you could never be a mistake. You’re the only thing that makes sense in my life. The only thing I live for.”
