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Pulling away a little, I cupped her cheeks again.
Her eyes managed to stay on mine this time, haunted and darker than usual. Her tears kept raining as I nuzzled her nose with mine. “Seni seviyorum. So fucking much, Nerida. I love you more than I thought capable. You have my word we’ll tell your parents. We’ll tell them together and—”
“Aslan.” She bit her bottom lip, her entire body trembling. “Please...t-take me away from here.”
Her voice still wavered, but at least her words were stable. I probably didn’t have to take her to the hospital to get her stomach pumped, thank everything holy. But I couldn’t take her home. Jack and Anna would see. I was responsible for this; I didn’t want her to pay for the consequences.
“Do you want to go home?” I asked softly.
She shook her head violently, moaning as she swayed.
I narrowed my eyes, that flutter of fear sparking up again. “What...what aren’t you telling me, Neri?”
She sucked in a tattered breath. “Take me to The Fluke. Please, Aslan. I need...I need the sea.”
A pang of jealousy shot through me.
Stupidly. Crazily.
I suffered a quick slice of jealousy at the very ocean that’d brought me nothing but despair yet granted Neri such salvation.
“You sure?” I kissed her forehead, tucking her into me.
She sighed and slumped in my arms, giving up everything she was. “Please...I need a swim.” She choked on the last word as if slipping into the water would wash away all the sins of tonight.
I’d been born for this girl.
If I didn’t believe it before, I had no choice but to believe it after tonight.
I’d come because she’d summoned me.
My heart was synced with hers.
No matter what the future held, she was mine, I was hers, and if she wanted to spend the night on the sea...then I’d spend all my nights giving her exactly what she wanted.
“Okay, canim. Let’s go find the sea.”
Chapter Forty
*
Aslan
*
(Moon in Galician: Lúa)
NERI DIDN’T SAY A WORD ON THE drive to the pier.
She stayed hunched and pressed against the door as if trying to crawl into a shell and hide from me.
My hand itched to reach across the agonising distance between us and touch her.
I longed to touch her.
My heart begged to touch her.
Yet everything about her screamed to leave her the hell alone.
She was still so angry with me about what I’d said. So hurt that I’d confessed I’d never meant to kiss her. But what about what I’d said afterward? Why couldn’t she remember that part? Why couldn’t she trust me when I said that no matter how we’d fallen together, we were together now. In sickness and in health. In secret and in sight. I wouldn’t change any of it. Even knowing I stood the risk of hurting her the day I got deported. Even knowing I’d doomed her to feeling the same grief I knew so well, haunted by ghosts I couldn’t say goodbye to.
I’d decided to be selfish and keep her.
And having her hide from me was one of the worst things I’d endured because I wanted things to be right between us. I needed her smile like I needed air. I needed her love before I fucking suffocated.
Pulling into the parking lot reserved for boat owners permanently moored at the pier, I turned off the engine and switched off the lights. Twisting, I opened the centre console and pulled out the keys for The Fluke. The small plastic bauble full of air—to keep the keys afloat if they fell overboard—filled my palm as I clutched them tight.
“Ready?” I whispered. My voice was far too loud.
She flinched but nodded. Her hands trembled as she unbuckled her safety belt and opened the door. She didn’t give me a chance to scoot around to her side and help her down. With her arms wrapped tight around her middle, she met me on the footpath, and we walked in slow silence to the boat.
I offered her my hand to walk up the small gangway.
She refused, not catching my eyes, making my heart pound with another awful wave of worry.
Kicking off her jewelled flip-flops the moment she was onboard, she padded softly to the front of the boat and stood staring at the full moon above.
I stood there like an idiot, not sure what to do.
Had she come here to sleep off the rest of her intoxication? Did she want to finish what we started today? I wouldn’t be able to tell her no tonight. If she dropped to her knees like she had today and gave me a blowjob, I’d be inside her before she even opened her mouth.
Even as the images of us finally writhing together filled my head, I didn’t step toward her with arousal. I didn’t get hard. I didn’t expect certain things.
My heart was still awfully wary, still picking up on signals I could feel but not see, energies that swirled around her that tasted dark and full of sorrow.
