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“No, I don’t.”
“Your nightmares say otherwise.” I drove my thigh higher, making her breath catch. “Tell me what he does to you in your nightmares. Does he pin you down? Does he tie you tight? Does he fuck you—”
“Stop!” She shoved me hard.
I absorbed the strike but didn’t move.
Instead, I crushed her harder against the door.
My hands landed on either side of her head, planting on the wood, imprisoning her. The tinkling pieces of my well and truly brutalised heart fell into my toes as I whispered in her ear, “You don’t want to relive it, but it’s the only thing you see. It won’t stop until you accept it or...”
She breathed fast as I pulled away a little, looking into her eyes, needing her to see what I was willing to do.
“Or what?” she whispered.
“Or it happens again.”
“What?”
“You’re forced again. Taken again. Raped by a bastard who—”
“Get the hell off me, Aslan. You’re drunk. You have to be. I have no idea why you’re saying these things. Sober up or get out—”
“Make me.” My entire soul screamed fucking murder as I locked my fingers around her fragile throat. “Strike me, hit me, hurt me like you wished you’d hurt him.”
She stilled.
Didn’t even blink.
My thumb caressed the column of her neck, pressing against her galloping pulse. “I hate that he touched you, Neri. I hate that he hurt you. I wished you’d let me rip out his fucking heart for you when I had the chance, but you didn’t. You let your goodness get in the way, but this time, I’m not going to let you. Become like him. Hurt me like he hurt you.”
“Aslan...let me go.”
Nuzzling my nose against hers, I whispered, “Don’t ask me. Make me.”
“I can’t. You’re far stronger than me.”
“But vulnerable in many places.” Keeping one hand on her throat, I dragged the other down her body until my fingers joined with hers. She never looked away from me as I guided her palm to the front of my shorts.
To the aching length popping out the top waistband. To the desperately sick and blackly twisted part of me that was turned on, all while fucking horrified.
“Knee me here, and you can get free.”
“I’m not going to knee you. Are you insane?”
“I’m the son of a murderer, trafficker, and rapist. I’m not insane, Neri. I’m just embracing my true heritage.”
“You’re nothing like him, and you know it.”
“Are you so sure?” I forced her hand against my throbbing erection. “Would I be hard if I wasn’t? Would I be so fucking drunk on taking you like this if some part of me wasn’t already evil?”
She squirmed against me, rubbing herself against my thigh as she tried to escape. “I know what you’re doing, and it won’t work.”
“You sure?” I ran my nose down her throat, inhaling her perfume and the telltale sharpness of panic beneath. “You smell of fear. Fear that’s overriding the trust you have in me.”
“That’s instinct.”
“Exactly.”
“But I know you. I know you’d never hurt me.”
“Seeing you hurt yourself has made me a little...unhinged, askim. Drinking hasn’t helped. I’m right on the edge, and I don’t think I can stop myself. You need pain, so I’ll give you pain. You need to relive it, so I’ll make you relive it. I’ll take you into the nightmare, Neri, and I’ll happily be the monster you need to kill to survive.”
“I just need you to love me. That’s all—”
“And I do. With all my fucking heart. But that’s not enough.”
“It is enough. It will be enough—”
“Fight me off, wife.”
“Aslan, don’t—”
“Tell me no.”
“Aslan—”
“I won’t make it easy for you, but you’re strong. You can stop me. You can win.”
“I don’t want—”
My tongue shut her up.
I threw myself onto her and wedged her against the door.
She moaned into the violent kiss.
She shook her head as I opened wide and claimed her. I licked her deep. I licked her hard. I kissed the girl I’d kissed a thousand times before, but this time, I let all my guilt, all my rage, all my fear tangle tightly with hers.
It was frightening and sickening and a part of me that was my father’s son, roared at the freedom. At the overwhelming reaction in my blood and bones to no longer have layers and walls, locks and vaults. To let everything that I’d been hiding from crash free and swarm me.
My hands landed in Neri’s hair, yanking her head back, kissing her harder.
For a moment, she melted.
She recognised me.
Remembered us.
I cursed her for licking me back.
But then...her back arched, and a ripple of war worked down her spine.
With vicious teeth, she bit me.
I gasped as blood bloomed, staining my teeth and splashing metallic.
“Again,” I snarled, crushing my mouth to hers, forcing her to taste me, drink me. “I won’t stop until you make me. I won’t be gentle. I won’t be kind. I’ll be exactly what you need me to be—”
