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“Are you okay?” Rhea asked, her eyebrows knitting together. “You do...want to do this, right?”
I hated that I’d made her doubt.
That she’d seen how much I struggled.
I’d never been good at letting anyone down, let alone someone who’d been so nice to me.
“You have no idea how much I need to do this.”
“Need?” she asked, her voice a little tight. “What does that mean?”
It means I’m breaking and doing my best not to.
I kissed her instead of answering her.
Need was the wrong word to use. The truth was the wrong thing to say. It revealed the dirty fact that I was using her. But then again, she was using me too: to forget about her ex who hurt her. To have a good time, a good night. As long as we both walked away pleasured, where was the harm in this?
You know where.
I winced at the thought of Neri ever finding out about this.
Just the thought of her doing this with another hurt more than anything.
I growled under my breath.
Fucking hell, stop it.
I had my mouth on a gorgeous girl.
Her lips were warm.
Her hot naked body willing to submit to me.
All I had to do was stay with her.
To have fun with her.
I opened my lips wider.
I forced myself to feel everything.
The slipperiness of her tongue as we tentatively licked.
The taste of her mouth from the sweet strawberry daiquiri I’d bought her.
The sound of her moan as she bit my bottom lip.
My spine snapped straight, revealing how reactive I was.
I flushed with shame as she smiled into my gasp. “You’re sensitive.”
Swallowing hard, doing my best to stay human, I hissed, “You have no idea.”
Her nails scraped down my back.
I convulsed and choked on a groan.
She laughed. “I like it.”
“I don’t.” I nipped at her bottom lip, pleased that her nails had distracted me enough that I wasn’t running. I groaned again as she drew her fingernails down my ass and along the crease of my upper legs.
My body took control of my mind.
I sank gratefully into the rapidly building urge. “I’m sure I’ll embarrass myself at some point.”
“I highly doubt that.” Her wet warmth rubbed against my hardness as I settled deeper into the V of her thighs.
Flashes of Neri came.
Her laughing on the boat when she’d stepped out of the sea from playing with the dolphins. Her running her fingers along my shoulders as she moved to her seat beside me at the dining table. Her smiling at me with her face alight and all her desires unhidden.
Fuck, not again.
I gulped and squeezed my eyes shut.
My body lost a little of its animalistic urgency, leaving me floundering.
Rhea’s voice gave me an anchor as she whispered, “When I first saw you, I did wonder if you’d fit. I mean...I know it always does but...jeez.”
I raised an eyebrow, doing my best to give her my full attention. “You’re saying I’m—”
“Well endowed?” She grinned. “Yes, definitely saying that.”
“Oh.” I didn’t know what to say. Never thought about it. Never had reason to compare, seeing as I had no friends to talk shit with or share sordid tales.
“You’re really handsome, too,” she whispered. “Are all men from Turkey as delicious as you?”
“You’ll have to go and find out.”
“I might just do that.” She licked her lips, her shoulder rising as she slipped her hand between us and locked around my cock. “Especially if you’ll be there.”
I flinched.
My body jerked in her fingers—
“Seni seviyorum, Aslan. I love you as my friend. I love you for saving me. I love you for helping my mum and dad. I love you because you exist, and not a day goes by that I’m not super thankful to have you living with us.”
The memory of Neri giving me the shell after I’d given her CPR filled my mind. A gift given by a girl who was sentimental and on some doomed crusade to fix me.
It was just a stupid shell.
Yet...it meant more to me than any other possession.
Priceless because she was the one who pressed it into my hand.
She was the one who stole my heart and in doing so stole everything else.
“Ah, shit.” Trembling, I rolled off Rhea and threw an arm over my eyes, panting hard.
Stop it.
Get a goddamn grip.
“Aslan?” Rhea shifted beside me. Her hand trailed down my stomach and found me again. A growl echoed in my chest as she pumped me up and down, perfect pressure, perfect speed.
“Sorry, I just...”
“Let me help,” she whispered, twisting and stroking.
And I let her.
I was desperate for her help.
Begging for her to free me.
“That feels really good,” I murmured, unable to look at her but willing to feel what she did to me.
“Tell me how you like it.” She added pressure.
I trembled. “Like that. I like it...hard.”
“Like this?” She fisted me.
I convulsed again.
I could come from that.
I could let myself go and release before I was ever inside her.
