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NINE
SULLY
There were so many things about me I didn’t want Clover ta know. So many things she should never be privy to. And yet, when I wake beside her, I realise I’ve told her those things now and she’s still here. The things that burned my tongue when I thought of confessin’ them to her are now out in the open.
When you love someone, you can’t hide anythin’ from them. I’ve learned that watchin’ Monster and Miren and seein’ how Tye is with his girl. I want that closeness with Clover, but I know that even though she admitted a lot ta me last night, there’s still things she’s hidin’. The secrets dance in her eyes, and each time I look at her, I realise there’s much more ta the wee lass than meets the eye.
I leave her to sleep and head into the kitchen. I haven’t warned her about McCallum yet, but this morning will be time fer that. She needs to keep an eye open because if he knows about her, there’s no doubt he would use her against me. That’s the problem about this life. When yer enemies know ye have a weakness, they’ll jump on the chance ta blackmail ye with shite.
It’s why I’ve spent most of my life alone. There are things I never want to go through, and that includes losin’ someone I love. And I know fer a fact, I’m in love with Clover. She’s the one good thing in my life besides my brothers.
With my focus on the coffee machine, I flick it on and wait for the water to heat. Slowly, the liquid drips into the mug I’ve placed below it.
“You’re up early,” Clover says from behind me, and I set the mug of fresh coffee down in front of her. “Thank you.”
“I couldn’t sleep,” I tell her. “Needed to get some caffeine down before I tell ye about the men who are behind the blackmail I mentioned last night.”
“What men?” She leans her hip against the counter.
Grabbing my mug, I head into the living room, and she follows. We settle on the sofa, and I swallow a mouthful of coffee.
“The night I killed Ma’s boyfriend,” I start the story. “There was a man who saw me. He’s not a good person, but at the time, I thought I needed help covering up my crime.”
“He took advantage of your innocence,” Clover says, and I nod. “And now he has something he’s holding over you.”
“Aye,” I say to her, thinking about what I have ta do. There’s no doubt I’m goin’ta do what McCallum wants. And the arsehole won’t stop houndin’ me until I do. “I need ye to be careful when ye’re in the bar. He doesn’t know about ye yet, but I have no doubt he’ll find out. The man has a lot of resources.”
“I understand, and I will be careful, but you need to watch your back as well. I can’t live with the idea of something happening to you because…” Her words filter off into silence, and I know what she wants ta say. It’s written all over her face, but she doesn’t admit the words I realise I want ta hear.
“I’m not goin’ anywhere,” I tell Clover as I look at her.
The fear in her eyes makes my chest tighten. I’m fallin’ fer her, and I can’t fight it anymore. But even so, I’m not lettin’ my heart go before she tells me what she’s hidin’. I’ll have ta wait it out, and fer her, I’ll do it.
“I know you’re not. I’m just worried because I finally have something worth losing. I don’t know if I can survive if you leave me.” Clover’s eyes fill with tears, and I take her hand before scootin’ closer to her.
“I’m not goin’ anywhere,” I repeat, keepin’ her stare hostage as I say it because I don’t want her to think I’m jokin’.
Even if she has secrets, I want her to know I’m here. There’s no runnin’ anymore. It’s new to me, but I can stay just fer her.
“And neither am I,” she tells me with a small smile on her lips. “Nobody is going to take me away from you. They may try, but they won’t succeed.”
“I’m goin’ta find that bastard who hurt you,” I tell her, reminding her just what my plans are. There’s no way I’m walkin’ away from what I want ta do. Clover’s expression changes from affectionate to afraid. The furrow between her brows deepens. “He needs ta pay,” I say with all the confidence in the feckin’ world.
“I know you’re angry, and you hate him, but I don’t know if I’m ready to face Rogan. There are so many things he did to me, things I don’t want to think about ever again. I don’t know if I’m going to be able to look him in the eye.”
