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“You’re moving too fast. I’m not in love with him, and I still have a home I love in the city.” Oh, and Brian might be in love with a dead woman for the rest of his life. There was that.
We spoke for a few more minutes about things other than Brian before I said, “I’m gonna go. I’ll talk to you guys soon.”
“It was good talking to you, son. We love you.”
Mom said the same, I returned the sentiments, and we ended the call.
I immediately did a search on my computer for local yoga studios. There was one in Cloverhill. They had a class that started in a little over an hour, so I signed up online, changed, and headed over.
It was a small studio, painted in white and yellow. The sign read RAYA SUNSHINE with the sun doing yoga on it. A blonde woman sitting behind the front desk gave me a wide smile. “Hello. How can I help you?”
“My name is Charles. I signed up online for the last spot in the next class.”
“Hi! We’re glad to have you. I’m Raya, the owner. Do you have experience?”
“I do. I’ve been practicing for the last ten years. I’m from New York and here for the summer. It’s been a while, so I thought I would start out slow.”
Raya chuckled. “We’re happy to have you in the area!”
“Thank you.”
She showed me around the small studio as people began coming in. I laid my mat down, more and more people arriving, until eventually, I wondered if they would have enough space for everyone.
It was a little close, but it all worked out. Raya led the class, and I had to admit, it felt great to bend and stretch my body. Not only did I need it, but my mind did too. Nothing helped me wind down like yoga did.
When class ended, people came up to me and said hi, welcoming me. Jesus, small towns were so strange. I wasn’t sure I would ever adjust to this. When I was putting my blocks away, Raya asked, “Do you think you’ll come back?”
“I do. My boyfriend lives in Ryland, so it’s a bit of a drive but not too far. I’m wondering if I can get him to give it a try.” Though I wasn’t sure I could see Brian doing yoga.
Something changed in how she looked at me, and for a moment I wondered if she was a homophobe. But then I realized it was comradery in her expression. “If you figure it out, let me know. I’ve been working on my wife for years.”
“Brian and I haven’t been together long, but I have a feeling it would take me years to get him into a class.” Maybe he would do it at home with me, though… It might be good for his anxiety.
We spoke for a few more minutes. I liked her a lot, so I grabbed a schedule and signed up for a few more classes.
I was on my way back to Ryland when I realized I’d called Brian my boyfriend and used his name. It had been reflex, and the likelihood of them knowing each other, or hell, even the same people, was small, but still, it reminded me that this wasn’t something we had discussed. Brian was just discovering his sexuality, whichever label he chose to use, if any, and there I was, telling people he was my boyfriend. I should’ve been more careful.
I got home, took a shower, and was just getting out when my phone buzzed with a text. I stood naked in my bathroom as I clicked to see a message from Brian.
Wanna come over tonight?
I smiled at the simple question. God, I was ridiculous over this man, but I couldn’t help loving that he wanted to spend time with me.
Me: Miss me?
Brian: You just wanna hear me say it.
Me: So?
It took him a few minutes to respond, and I wondered if I’d pushed too hard or if he didn’t know I was being playful. Nerves skittered down my spine until his message came through.
Brian: There ain’t a lot of people in my life I ever cared enough to miss. You’re one of them.
My heart did an unfamiliar swoop, and I felt like I was floating.
I miss you too, I admitted. And then, because this was very sweet, and while I liked being sweet with him, I was also me, I continued with, I’m naked. Want a photo?
There was another delay in response. I watched my screen like I needed him to respond to survive. His answer was short and to the point. Ok.
I hadn’t expected that, but I sure as shit wasn’t complaining. I took a ridiculous naked mirror selfie, smiling for him, then sent the photo over.
Even better than I remembered, he replied, followed by a smile emoji. It was one of my favorite sentences ever.
