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Thanks. I’ll see you soon, sweetheart.
See you soon.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
Brian
I couldn’t stop staring at the photo Charles had sent me. He was so sexy, and I wanted him so much. I didn’t understand how these new feelings emerged in me after meeting him. The demisexual definition made sense because I hadn’t connected with anyone like I did with Charles, but that just made me have more questions, like why? And could I have had this earlier with anyone else? But I didn’t want that because then I wouldn’t have it now with him.
And how long would I be lucky enough to be with him?
My eyes found the photo again. Could I ever be the kind of man who did this? Send a naked picture of myself to Charles? And if I couldn’t, would he get bored with me? I couldn’t imagine he wouldn’t eventually, with or without the photos. There wasn’t much I could offer him. Hell, I didn’t have much to offer anyone, but especially someone like him. He’d blown me every night he’d stayed with me after the first time. He’d gotten me to come each time, but it wasn’t always easy. All I did was jerk him off. He would get tired of that, wouldn’t he?
I rolled my eyes because what did I expect? That we would be together forever? That would definitely scare him away.
Still, I smiled when I heard his car in the driveway. I exited out of the photo so I didn’t look obsessed with him, and went to the door.
Charles smiled at me, making my stomach flip a few times. The way he looked at me sometimes…it made me feel like I was more than I was. That I wasn’t just Brian, the sad, lonely man who worked in a factory, raised his nephew when Sutton had deserved more, and spent his life in love with the memory of someone else.
“Hey, you.” Charles was still grinning when he stepped onto the porch and pressed a kiss to my lips. His stubble scratched against my skin, and part of me wanted to ask him to rub his cheek all over my body.
Instead, I just responded with, “Hey.”
“I was gonna get you flowers, but the stand wasn’t up.”
“That’s okay. You don’t gotta keep doin’ that if you don’t want.”
“I like to bring them to you.”
“I like getting them,” I admitted.
“What are you feeding me tonight?” he asked and kissed me again, with the smile on his face that made it feel even better. “Mmm. I missed this mouth.” Charles lashed his tongue against my lips.
“I missed yours too.” My words felt like they loosened some of the chains around me.
“Good,” he replied before heading into the house, and I followed. He set a bag on the armchair. I’d somehow missed it before but knew since he had it, he planned to stay the night. Now it was me who was grinning.
“I was thinking we could throw some burgers on the grill—do something simple like that.”
“That works perfectly because I was going to ask you if you wanted to go to the bar again tonight. We can do dinner here, then head over later and listen to some music. You can bring your guitar, and if you feel like playing again, we can.”
My heart thudded, and I willed it to slow down. Unfortunately, it didn’t listen. “Do you know me?” I asked, trying to keep this lighter than I felt.
“You had fun last time.”
I had, and I wanted to do it again, but wanting and doing weren’t the same. “It wasn’t planned. It just happened.”
“So we won’t plan it this time. If you feel like it, then maybe it will just happen again.”
My fingers twitched, wanting to run across the fret. The freedom I’d felt up there, the thought of how people cheered and sang with us, made goose bumps spread across my skin. Say yes, say yes, say yes. I wanted to speak the words, but nothing would come out. Everything started to sound slightly fuzzy, like there was a constant white noise in the room that just kept getting louder.
“We don’t have to. It was just an idea.” Charles wrapped his arms around my shoulders, his fingers dancing along my scalp. “Not gonna complain about getting to keep you to myself tonight.”
His words were supposed to make me feel better, and in some ways they did, but in others just made me feel like a failure. That wasn’t something I would have cared about before Charles, but I cared about it now, and I just wanted… I wanted to have a good night with him. I wanted to do with him the kind of things people did every day without stressing over it. “You can have me to yourself after ’cuz I wanna go.”
“Are you sure? There’s no obligation. We can play here.”
