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I couldn’t help chuckling because he was right. I’d fallen fast and hard for Brian. It didn’t surprise me that he could see it on my face. I groaned, placing my elbows on the counter. “I’ve never felt like this before. He’s like… Christ, it’s like he fills something inside me that hadn’t needed filling until I met him. He makes me feel things I didn’t know were possible to feel.”
Emerson nodded but didn’t respond right away. There was no doubt in my mind he was thinking about Sam, before he brought himself back to the moment with me. “I’m happy for you. And he’s…?”
“Well, clearly, he isn’t straight, since I said we’re together. The rest belongs to him.”
“Fair enough. What are you going to do?”
That was the tough question. All I knew was that I wanted him, wanted to be with him. “Move here, I guess? We haven’t talked about anything like that. I don’t want to rush it, but there aren’t many other options.”
The way Emerson’s forehead wrinkled up told me he disagreed.
“You don’t think I should move here?”
“I didn’t say that, but there are other options. You’re not the only one who has to make changes.”
“Brian would never expect that,” I bristled.
“I’m not saying he would. I don’t know the man much, but I do know you. Do you remember how much shit you used to give me for moving to a place like this? And now you suddenly want to? Can you really see yourself being happy here, Charles? What will you have here besides him and us?”
“Maybe that’s enough for me. And what the fuck, man? Why aren’t you being more supportive?” I backed him a hundred percent when I realized how much Sam meant to him.
Emerson sighed. “I’m not trying to be unsupportive. You were the only person who had my back after Daniel was killed. I might give you shit, but I’ll always have your back too because of our past. That’s why I’m asking these questions. You’re the kind of man who would do anything for people he cares about. I want to make sure you’re thinking this through, that you don’t just do what you think Brian needs. Your needs are important as well.”
I shifted uncomfortably. That wasn’t what I’d expected to hear from my friend. Honestly, I wasn’t sure how to respond, so I just nodded, then said, “I know what I’m doing. Plus, like I mentioned, we haven’t talked about the future. We’ll figure it out. I just wanted you to know how I feel.”
Emerson smiled. “I’m happy for you.”
Yeah, I was happy for me too.
“You should hang out for a while.”
“Damn, I should have told you I have a boyfriend sooner. It makes you much more agreeable to spending time with me.”
Emerson chuckled. “Nah, I just want to put you to work.” He winked, and we both laughed.
“I’ll have that drink now.” I shoved away what he’d said about Brian and me. I knew what I wanted—Brian. None of the rest of it mattered.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
Brian
I was surprised to hear a car coming down the driveway. Charles was with Emerson, and Sutton never came over without talking to me first.
I was outside because most of the time, it was where I’d rather be. I lived for the fresh air, for trees, sunshine, and quiet.
I walked around the side of the house to see Sutton’s truck pulling up. My heart immediately tried to barrel its way out of my chest. I hurried toward where he’d parked, the second he got out asking, “What’s wrong?” My mind flashed back to the day the sheriff came to tell me about Nadine, Phil, and Libby.
“Shit. Sorry. Didn’t mean to scare ya. I just wanted to talk to you ’bout somethin’.” I nodded, but my breaths weren’t ready to slow down yet. “You here alone?” Sutton asked, making me frown. I was always alone…well, I used to always be home alone. I wasn’t anymore because of Charles, but I always made plans with Sutton when he wasn’t around.
“Yeah. Why wouldn’t I be?”
“You been spendin’ a lot of time with Charles. We talked about it before. It’s real good you have a friend.” He ran a hand through his dark hair that hung some around his face. “Kendra said she saw you at Rowdies over in Cloverhill. She said you were…hell, she said you were onstage, playing guitar. Charles was singin’ and playin’ piano. I thought she was makin’ it up. I never seen you do somethin’ like that. It ain’t a bad thing. I just can’t believe it.”
Blood rushed through my ears, a boulder heavy on my chest. I’d told Charles I didn’t care what people thought, and I didn’t. I’d spent my life with people making up reasons why I was alone, and now I wasn’t. It felt too good to have someone there, but something about Sutton knowing made it different. Guilt I knew I had no business feeling fueled my already overactive heart. My vision blurred some, and Sutton’s voice got further and further away.
