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“I think you’re mistaking us for CrossFit,” I joked back.
“Right? That’s what I tell her all the time. She’s lucky I don’t do CrossFit!” We all laughed, and I felt Brian relax beside me.
“Charles has asked me about it a couple of times, but he hasn’t been too pushy yet,” Brian said.
“Hey! I’m never pushy!” I winked.
“Do you know you?” Brian joked, and I relaxed too. I wanted him to enjoy tonight. I wanted him to know what it was like to have a boyfriend and go out with other couples and just…live. Brian hadn’t let himself live before, and he deserved that.
“Well, if he’s anything like Ray, he’s biding his time, but eventually he’ll pounce and won’t give up,” Kim added.
“I’m feeling very ganged up on.” Raya leaned over and pressed a kiss to Kim’s cheek, just as the waiter approached our table.
“Can I get y’all something to drink?”
We put in our orders, then chatted while we looked over the menu. When he returned with our drinks, we told him what we wanted to eat, then were left alone again.
Brian was quieter than everyone else, which didn’t surprise me, but he was engaged and friendly. He didn’t seem like he wanted to fade into the background as he had at the party the first time I’d seen him. He sat close to me, our legs touching almost the whole time. Before him, I hadn’t been the kind of man who just enjoyed touching or being as close to someone else as I did now, but I found I now craved it almost as much as he did.
The food was really good. Kim was telling us about the daycare she owned, which turned into a discussion on the struggles of being a small-business owner. This wasn’t something I knew from experience, but I could imagine.
“I would do anything to be able to upgrade Raya Sunshine to a bigger building, but I just don’t have the funds for it—or even a second location. I have packed classes all day every day, but expenses still make it a struggle to come up with that kind of money,” Raya said. “Kim has the same issues at the daycare.”
Kim smiled at her wife. “We’ll get there one day. I never expected to be able to be a forty-year-old business owner, married to my wife and living my truth. And if not, we already have everything we need.”
Raya glowed at her words. “My wife is the best.”
Brian cleared his throat. “Y’all make a real nice couple.”
“Thank you. The two of you do too. I might not have known Charles long, but it’s clear he’s smitten.” Raya grinned at me. I couldn’t say she was wrong.
“I’m real lucky to have him,” Brian replied.
“I think you’re both lucky to have each other,” Kim added.
“I don’t know…from what I hear I’m pretty pushy,” I teased, earning a round of laughter.
“I like you how you are,” Brian said, then excused himself to the bathroom.
I was surprised that we stayed for about an hour after eating, Brian getting along well with both of them. And when we left, we agreed the four of us would get together again soon.
“I like your friends. They’re nice,” Brian said as he drove us home.
“They’re your friends now too, sweetheart.”
He hesitated for a moment before he said, “Yeah, I reckon they are.”
I smiled into the dark truck. “Did you have fun?”
“I did. I guess it ain’t so bad doing the whole social thing.”
I chuckled, then leaned over and nuzzled his neck. “Want to hear a secret?” I asked close to his ear. My hands suddenly started shaking, and my heart entered a race I knew nothing about, but I wanted to do this, knew it was true.
“Yes…but you kiss me like that while I’m drivin’ and we’re gonna wreck.”
“Please don’t do that,” I whispered, then added, “I think I might be in love with you, sweetheart. I’ve never been in love before, but I can’t imagine it feeling any better than this, so I guess that’s gotta be it.”
Brian sucked in a sharp breath. I wasn’t one to hold back. While I wasn’t sure I realized it until tonight, it was important for me to tell him. I’d spent my whole life happy, not wanting for anything, not knowing real loss except Paul, but the simplest things with Brian felt better than all the good stuff I’d ever had combined.
“It’s okay if you can’t say it.” I kissed his neck so he knew I was telling the truth. “I have faith I’ll win you over,” I teased. He might still be in love with a dead woman, but I believed Brian loved me too. I just didn’t know if he would give himself permission to see it yet.
He pulled into the driveway and turned his truck off. The dome light came on, and seeing Brian looking down made my heart clench. Had I misread it? Maybe I shouldn’t have told him.
