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He looked at me, eyes swimming.
I reached for him. “Hey—”
“I love you too,” Brian said. “And that scares the shit outta me. I spent so many years lovin’ Nadine, knowin’ I couldn’t have her…and I think I held on to that because of the whole demi thing. Me and Sutton figured that out. I didn’t tell you this part before…that lovin’ her hurt but it made me feel normal, being attracted to someone made me feel normal, and now there’s you…it feels like I can actually have you…and it’s deeper, like you’ve burrowed into my bones, like I don’t know if my heart would keep beatin’ if I didn’t have you. You know all those parts of me I didn’t even understand before, and you’re still here. I don’t wanna fuck it up.”
My head felt echoey, my heart beating so hard, it was difficult to hear anything else, but I’d heard him. “Jesus, Brian. Come here.”
He came easily, giving me his mouth, accepting my tongue, arms around me, hands fisted in my hair. Sometimes his kisses were timid, others they were needy, but they’d never been as intense, never had the fervor he kissed me with right then. “Can I have you tonight?” He pressed his forehead against mine.
“Yes. God yes. Let’s go inside before we end up naked out here.”
He laughed as we tumbled out of the truck together. We raced toward the house, a lightness to Brian he didn’t often have. I wanted him to have it all the time. I wanted to be the one to give it to him. His happiness fed my own, how seeing him smile made me want to do the same, how being with him filled me up in ways I didn’t even understand myself. Being the person he chose, the one to make him feel and have all these experiences he’d denied himself most of his life, completed parts of me I hadn’t known weren’t whole.
The second we were inside, we were on each other, urgent, like we would starve if we didn’t fill our need for each other.
I kissed his laugh, feeling his breath puff against my skin while he stepped out of his shoes and stumbled down the hallway. When we got to his room, I nearly came out of my skin with desire when a shirtless Brian fell to his knees, working open my pants. When he got them mid-thigh, he leaned in, nose pressed against my aching cock and full balls, inhaling my skin through my underwear.
“There’s nothing like bein’ this close to you,” he said with what sounded like reverence. “I wanna worship you.”
A tremble ran the length of my body, expanding in my chest. “Jesus, sweetheart. That just might be the second-best thing I’ve ever heard, right behind hearing you love me.”
“Didn’t know I had so many words inside me until I met you.” He tugged my underwear down, running his nose along my shaft before nuzzling my sac. I wanted to come on him, wanted to mark him, wanted to watch him savor me, before taking him apart and doing the same to him—and in that breaking down, I knew that somehow Brian became whole.
I pulled him to his feet, needing to drink from his mouth again. We kissed as we worked him out of his jeans and underwear. I wrapped my hand around our cocks together, stroking us and nibbling on his lips.
“Everything you do to me feels so good,” Brian whispered.
“You deserve to feel good.”
We ended up on the bed, me on my back with Brian on his knees above me. He reached toward the nightstand and pulled out the lube and a condom.
“Do we need this?” I asked, pointing to the rubber. “I’m negative. I’m tested every three months like clockwork. I was cleared before coming here, and I haven’t been with anyone but you.”
“It’s been a long time since I’ve been with anyone. I had a physical not too long ago, and I let them test me for…hell, didn’t know at the time, but they did, and I got the all-clear too.”
“Do you want inside me bare?” I asked, stroking him and savoring his hiss of pleasure. “Do you want to come in me?”
In response, Brian slammed his mouth down on mine. I laughed into the hungry kiss, wrapping my arms around him. Brian managed to work some magic, pumping lube into his hand and reaching down, pressing a finger to my hole while we made out.
I moaned when he pushed the first inch inside. “Does it feel good?”
“It feels fucking awesome.” I loved that he didn’t feel too self-conscious to ask. Cocky men were attractive. Hell, I was pretty cocky myself, but there was strength in asking when you weren’t sure, because the most important thing was pleasing someone. “Just like that. Give me two.”
