Page 20 of Beards and Bikinis


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“I’m just helping Daphne. Living vicariously.” She says the latter part to Meno. “Now, please, will you go get suited up and stand next to this beautiful woman?”

I smile down at said beauty as she nods with excitement.

“Okay, then, let’s go get fake married.”

My agreement sets the crowd into motion. Hands seem to appear out of nowhere, and Meno and I are swept into changing rooms. The suit is nice and all, but the collar is far too tight. I’m a huge fucking man, and I wonder how they have a suit in my size, but then I remember Daphne made my suit for a gala, last year. Still, I suspect my sister had her pushy hands in this scheme. That must mean she really likes Meno, and that’s part of the plan, so with a deep breath, I focus on the treasure plan.

We’re standing on at the last location in the poem. There’s a possibility there’s gold here. Mission: appease the crowd and get them to head out. When this place is empty, Meno and I can figure out exactly where it is and how we’ll get it out of here.

I allow an unnamed blonde lady to trim my hair and beard. A guy comes in and gives me some fancy shoes—also conveniently in my size. When I make it back outside, I look everywhere for Meno. She’s not at the altar or the fountain, but when I turn into the garden, my breath leaves my body in a rush. I’m struck breathless by the sight of her in a long, white dress. It’s fitting for beach wedding with flowing silk that hugs all of her curves. Her hair is curled in big ringlets that shine under the sun.

Click click click.

Several people flock around her. Changing her necklace and fluffing up her hair. Slowly, I make my way closer, loving the smile on her face. She hadn’t seen me at first, but when she does, the look I get makes me feel like a king.

This amazing, smart, brave woman wants to fake marry me after only knowing me for a couple of days. In a short amount of time, we’ve managed to form a bond to one another so strong the thought of time ceases to matter. It makes no difference to my heart that we just met, I’ve never been more certain of anything.

I love her.

As deep as the vast ocean and up into the grand galaxy.

“Hey, you,” she whispers as I approach, needing to touch her.

“No, no, no! You’re not supposed to see the bride before the wedding!” Robin yells at me, but it doesn’t stop me from stepping up to my girl and pulling her my chest.

I make sure not to crush her pretty hairdo or mess up her lipstick, although it’s with great restraint. Instead, I smile and tell how truly beautiful she looks.

“Thank you.”

Click click click.

I hear the camera going off again while we stare at each other, so we hold our pose a minute longer. It gives me the chance to fall deep into her ocean-blue eyes.

“Can you hold up her hand, please?” someone says, so I do.

“No ring! Where’s the ring! Who am I firing?” the photographer, a grouchy guy in a white button-up and sleek navy blue pants, booms with a lobster-red face.

Poor guy probably set out on the beach during high sun and feels the painful burn as a result. We all have bad days. I’ll give him some grace as long as he calms the fuck down.

Suddenly, it’s Robin who taps my shoulder and hands me a small black box. Opening it, my eyes shoot to hers. It’s my grandmother’s ring. The one that was left to me for my future bride. My first instinct is to shake my head, but when her face falls, I know she misunderstands. Robin is the best of people. Loyal and loving to a fault, hence the large baby belly and weak attempt at telling our parents she doesn’t know who the father is. They don’t believe her and neither do I, but she’s stubborn and bent on being a single mom.

“Two seconds, I’ll be right back,” I tell Meno. The photographer ignores me as he starts taking more shots of her as Robin and I walk away.

“I don’t want to give this to her only to take it back. This ring belongs to Meno—you’re not wrong—but this photoshoot is all just that. It’s not real, and when I give it to her, I don’t want her taking it off.”

“Aw, that’s so sweet,” Robin gushes too loudly.

“Shh.” I laugh. “I want to give this to her when I’m more confident she’ll say yes.”

“So today?” my sister asks with a straight face.

“Probably not. Why are you so sure she’d say yes?”

“Because she’s right behind you,” Robin says and turns me by the arm.

Sure enough, Meno stands a few feet away with tears ready to fall down her cheeks. The smile on her face sweet and bright enough for aliens to see it from space. She loved what I just said, which can only mean she feels this connection between us just as strongly.

Feeling my sister place the small box in my hand, I take a deep breath and walk over to her.

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