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“I can’t do this…”
He bends over a bit to catch my gaze. “Do what?” His brows clench together. “Be with me? Did you not want—”
“This isn’t what you wanted. You said no more kids. You never wanted to get married again—”
“So we did it half-ass backwards. It doesn’t mean it’ll all circle back around again.”
“I just…this isn’t for me. There’s no reason why we need to be forced to be together.”
Kai takes a small step away from me and I miss his closeness immediately. “You still don’t want the labels. This changes things, Molly.”
I don’t meet his gaze. His words are gentle and patient but, like he said, he’s still shell-shocked. I’m not certain that he fully realizes that a baby comes with more commitment than ever before.
“What are you concerned about?” he asks then.
“That I trapped you into this.”
“It takes two people to do this.”
“And one person to have already checked out of everything before anything even started.” I glance up at his blue eyes, filled with confusion and concern. “You’re not emotionally available to me. And I never pictured my life like this.” But he was always accessible whenever I needed him.
“You think I don’t feel anything?” He reaches up and lightly slams his palm into his chest. “You’re getting in here. It’s scary as hell. I never wanted you there, but I’m really warming up to the idea.”
“Kai—”
“Shut up, sweetheart,” he barks out a bit, not moving an inch from his spot. “I claimed you as mine in front of my best friend. My dick doesn’t get hard for any pussy other than yours. I want you at my side, in my bed, at all times. I love how close you’re getting to my girls, and that doesn’t surprise me. You seeped into our veins and demanded a spot there. I might not be romantic and fawning over you every two seconds—”
“More likelustingover me,” I retort with a scowl, and Kai promptly releases a chuckle.
“Same thing, baby. Maybe I subconsciously tried to make this happen. Because the thought of you ever leaving…doesn’t sit well with me. So, I’m sorry that your career took a shit and you’re not where you wanted to be, but I think you’re where you need to be. And I’ll support you with anything you need and wherever you might need help.”
My heart flutters and I love his words, but I’m still on the fence because of the newness of it all. I don’t want that organ to get broken in the process.
“Have I ever steered you wrong before?”
I rock my head back and forth. “No.”
Kai reaches for me and wraps his fingers around my waist, pulling me toward him again and bringing me flush against his hard body. “Then listen to me when I say, you’re mine. That baby is mine. You’re part of my life now. And, woman…I can’t say I’m mad at that. In fact, it only made the monster inside me growl and drool over the prospect that you’re bound to me. That I will have this body pressed up against me every night…and that you’re going to slowly start sucking out some of the black that’s inked itself into my soul. I don’t regret meeting you. I have no complaints about how things have gone down between us. I just wish…I would’ve met you sooner. Shit, I even wish you were the mother of my girls.”
My lips part, words abandoning me, and Kai takes that as an invitation to kiss me again.
This is crazy, and it feels good.
My mind is whirling over his sentiment and how our journey had to be fate. I can’t help but bathe in what he said, wishing for it to all remain true for tomorrow.
I’m even hoping that it lasts forever.
21
KAI
IneverthoughtI’dbe back at this stage in my life, feeling nervousness and anxiety about tomorrow because everything has changed now. My career isn’t where it used to be, I’ve grown and experienced pain with all the good things that have come into my life, but Molly was never expected.
And she definitely isn’t someone I regret either, no matter what I want to tell myself about not getting too deep within another relationship.
When she told me last night she was pregnant, I swear I about had a heart attack. It was thelastthing that I thought she was going to tell me. But as many times as I’ve preached that I was done with kids and marriage, this woman opened me up to so much more optimism.
Shit, I’m slightly obsessed with her, if I’m being honest with myself.
