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That was her, Nita!Shewas a pathetic wimp, except it was worse because she was in love with someone who didn’t love her back. Who was gone and wouldn’t be able to hear her pour out her pathetic feelings for him.
Kensley’s excitement faded into worry. “What’s wrong? You look like you’re about to—”
She felt it rise in her chest, rush up her throat and burst out of her in a strangled sob. Somehow this was worse than falling on a dead body.
“Oh my God, what’s happened? Are you hurt? Are one of your friends hurt?” Kensley peppered the questions at her as she crouched beside the chair, rubbing her back and smoothing her hair back.
“I-I’m in lo-ove,” she stammered like a complete idiot. She lay her head on her lap to wipe her face off. Then she worked to catch her breath.
“Aw, sweetie, that’s not so bad,” Kensley soothed.
“I’m in love with a badass biker who has a bitchy ex and a young son and who lives all the way across the country in Chicago,” she blathered, knowing none of it made sense but she couldn’t help that.
“That’s… still not so bad, and Chicago is only part of the way across the country,” Kensley said, hesitating. “I know for a fact that him having a son is a very good thing. Ellis had a daughter, and she’s amazing. Having her made Ellis and understanding, caring, amazing man.”
Nita huffed as the tears slowed down, staring at Kensley to see if she was being serious.
“Honest,” Kensley swore. “Being a parent means he’s probably more responsible than many other badass bikers who live in Chicago.”
“But he’s gone back to be with his son in Chicago.”
Kensley’s eyes widened in surprise. “Why didn’t you go back with him? Because of the bar exam?”
She nodded, wiping away the last of the tears with the back of her hand. “But also because I’m not sure how he really feels about me. I mean, I know he thinks the sex is great, but I don’t know much more beyond that.”
Kensley rolled her eyes, a faint smile playing on her lips. “You can’t wait for some man to tell you how he feels, especially if he’s a tough guy. You’ll have to sit him down for a heart-to-heart.”
Nita sat back against the chair, exhausted by all the emotion. She hadn’t even told Kensley about the dead body yet, which had her shifting her eyes over to the woman cautiously. Better let that stay a secret.
“His son is important to him, right?”
“Very,” she agreed.
“Did you ever express an interest in children, whether his or having any of your own? Because that’s a big deal.”
Nita hesitated, memories flooding her mind. She remembered the awful shooting Ryder had told her about. “When we talked about his son, the chance to talk about kids in general never really came up. Until him, I never saw it in the cards for myself.”
Kensley’s gaze softened. “God, you really love this guy.”
She nodded, telling herself she wasn’t going to cry again.
“I was stupid not to talk to him before he left,” she admitted.
Kensley took her hand as she stood in front of her. “Possibly. You’ve got to tell him how you feel, Nita. About the whole package he comes with, not just the amazing sex.”
A faint chuckle escaped her lips. “But it is pretty amazing sex,” she joked.
“You know, having a son means he might not be willing to relocate to Seattle. Have you thought about that?” Kensley said, squeezing her hand then walking around her desk to sit down. She pulled her keyboard closer and started typing.
“I’m thinking about it now,” she admitted. Chicago couldn’t be all that different from New York, but then she hadn’t lived in New York for a while.
“And you’ve told me you’re committed to Cavendish, and your roller derby team, and in third place, heartbreakingly, is joining my law firm,” Kensley said, giving her a wry smile.
“That’s true, I did say all of that mattered.”
“Would you be willing to walk away from all that for him?”
Nita thought about that, remembered being in her office just a week ago professing all the things Nita had said she was committed to. The truth was, all of that didn’t matter without Ryder in her life.
