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“RAF,” Holden announced, but before I could throw out a reverse acronym, he continued, “Royal Air Force.”
“Too easy.” I patted his hand which sat lazily on the arm rest between us. “That already exists. What about? Road trips are fun.”
“Yeah. I like that.” He pointed to a sign. “I’ve always wanted to see that place, and I’m hungry. Can we stop?”
“Time is my luxury, not yours.”
“Then I’m making the call. We’re stopping.”
Holden pulled into the turn lane, and drove up the gravel road, parking near a quaint roadside eatery. From the highway, this place would’ve been missed, if not for the sign. We were high above the highway, and a gorgeous valley stretched out below.
“You grab the table; I’ll grab the food. You’re not allergic to anything?”
“Not that I’ve found out.”
“Ooh, they serve wine. Want one?” Holden swayed on his feet with excitement.
But I shook my head. “No, thanks. Just something with caffeine, like a Coke or Pepsi.”
I ambled over to one of three vacant picnic tables situated near the edge of the cliff area. Down below, the highway wove around the vineyards stretching out in the valley with the setting sun blanketing the grapevines in golden hues. It was breathtaking and I snapped a picture. I turned and took one of Holden standing at the walk-up window of the eatery.
The weathered and rickety table wobbled as I sat on one side.
“This place is amazing.”
Holden waved the tray of steaming food between us as I continued taking in the jaw-dropping view. “It is.”
“Thank you.” I took a bite of my chicken wrap. It was the first thing I’d eaten since the motel, and until I sunk my teeth into the meaty texture, I didn’t know I was so famished. “Let me guess, your parents took you here too?”
“Absolutely not, mom always packed lunches. Take out was a cost they didn’t need, but she always managed to find the best places to have a picnic at, so it never felt like we were missing anything.” He drifted off with a dreamy expression on his face. Must be nice to look back fondly on your childhood. “However, I’ve always wanted to come here but never had the chance.”
“Until now.”
“Until now.” He smiled and took a sip from the plastic wine glass of his chardonnay. “You should taste it. It’s magnificent.”
Like a neon sign, it called out to me, and it was impossibly hard to turn down. I wanted to feel the tingle of the sparkling grapes as they passed over my lips and tickled my tastebuds. But rather than test my crumbling strength, I politely declined. One taste was never enough. “It’s part of the reason I can’t drive.”
“Why’s that?” He gave me his full attention.
I inhaled sharply, tore my focus off Holden, and threw it back over to the setting sun.
It wasn’t like we were going to be an item, so throwing a little fuel on the fire wasn’t going to hurt. “I had a little too much to drink one night, and in my stupid state of mind, I drove home. And I got caught.”
“Jesus.”
“The details are too gruesome to share, but some claim it wasn’t an accident, not really, that I had purposely hit the tree in the ditch.”
“Had you?” He leaned forward to take in my every word.
“No.Thatwas an accident – totally unplanned – but the moments following it were definitely not, however, I lost my license for thirty days. DUI.” My heart raced in anticipation of what I was about to share. “But it gets worse. I was in the darkest point in my life and saw no way out. I’d just lost my job, I’d recently found out my boyfriend was a piece of shit, and my friends weren’t much better.” Deep, ripping pain seared through my chest, and I stared at the plastic tray between us. “Having survived the crash somehow, I’d spied a shard of glass and took matters into my own hands.” I blinked and focused on Holden’s bright green eyes.
“Oh?” His Adam’s Apple bobbed once as he choked down a swallow.
“Unsuccessfully.”
“Jesus, I’m sorry.” His jaw slackened and he inhaled and held his breath for a moment. “But is it wrong of me to say I’m glad you were unsuccessful. You’re here now.” His soft hand covered mine. “You’re worth it, you know.”
“But I don’t.”
