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I wanted him. Way more than I’d realised. And I couldn’t have him.
“I’m glad it helped.” My voice betrayed me, cracking at the sudden rush of emotions. Quickly turning away from him, I cleared my throat, attempting to regain my composure.
“Cole,” he said again, so fucking soft. “Look at me.”
“I can’t.”
“Why?”
Moving into a seated position, I shoved my sunglasses up to the top of my head, my arms encircling my drawn-up knees. Burying my face in my arms, I let the truth fall from my lips, even though it was the last thing I wanted to do. I couldn’t keep it in anymore.
“I’m so fucking tired of pretending that I don’t want you.”
I wasn’t looking at him, but I heard his sharp intake of breath. He fell silent, and I pressed my lips together, my fingertips tightening around my knees, digging into my skin.
Sudden, small sounds filled my senses. A guitar case opening. A plectrum against strings. A heavy breath.
“Come here,” Huxley murmured, and I lifted my head. He had his legs stretched out in front of him, his guitar resting on his upper thighs, and his hand held out in invitation.
Swallowing hard, I unfolded my body, taking the invitation for what it was. I shifted into a lying position with my head on his legs.
His fingers came down to carefully stroke through my hair. “Don’t think this is one-sided,” he said quietly. “I want you too. It’s been killing me to stay away from you.”
“What does that mean?” It felt like my voice was so loud, breaking the peaceful silence of this open space.
His soulful blue eyes met mine, and for once, he wasn’t hiding anything. “It means that I don’t think I can stay away anymore. I thought I could get over this, but you’re in my head, and I can’t stop thinking about you.”
I reached a hand up, tracing it across his jaw, feeling the rasp of his stubble beneath my fingertips. “Me neither. I know we’re stepbrothers, but we didn’t ask for this. I want you, and you want me. Why shouldn’t we be together?”
We both knew why. Our parents. I was sure they wouldn’t understand, and with us all living under the same roof, things were bound to blow up. How could we tell them when we didn’t even know ourselves if this was something between us that would burn hot but could burn out just as quickly? Was it worth the inevitable fallout? What would it mean for family relations if and when this whole thing crashed and burned? Our family was so new…how could we risk what our parents were doing their best to build, with a relationship that had no guarantee of lasting?
Then there were other people. We weren’t even related, but there would be those who wouldn’t understand. Not that I cared what they thought, but our parents would.
Huxley sighed, his fingers curling around mine. He pressed my fingers to his lips and then lowered my hand to rest on my stomach. “Let’s stay here and forget about the rest of the world for a while.”
Our eyes met again, and I exhaled slowly, pushing aside my worries. I kept on breathing in and out, slow and steady, until everything else faded away. There was just the two of us, here in this grassy meadow, with the rays of the late-summer sun playing across our bodies. Me and the boy that I somehow, against all odds, wanted to be mine.
A smile curved over Huxley’s lips, and he looked so fucking beautiful. “That’s it. Breathe. It’s just you and me, Cole.”
“You and me,” I repeated, holding his gaze.
His fingers moved across the strings of his guitar.
The familiar opening notes of “Somewhere Only We Know” sounded, and then he began to sing.
19
Curtis studied the campus map that we’d been given in our induction packs when we’d arrived at the LSU student union. Tapping the piece of paper, he glanced over at me. “My induction meeting’s over there at three. Want to meet back here afterwards to look around the campus?”
“Yeah, okay.” My business course was a foundation one, whereas Curtis was going straight into the first year of his computing degree, so we wouldn’t be sharing any classes together. “See you in a couple of hours.”
I made my way over to the building indicated in my own induction pack and entered a small lecture hall with tiered seating. The hall was already half full, and I scanned the room, spotting a free seat towards the back. Good. Sitting at the front was never a good idea, in my opinion. I’d been in trouble enough times as it was; I didn’t need to draw any extra attention to myself by being in full view of the lecturer. I’d promised my dad I’d behave, but based on my track record, it might not be smooth sailing. So the back of the hall it was. I just needed to keep my head down and pass this year so I could start my full degree.
My phone buzzed in my pocket, and I pulled it out, setting it to silent before I checked the message.
Cole:
Good luck today. You’re gonna smash it *fist bump emoji*
