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“I understand how much those little girls mean to you. I’ve heard how much you love them, and it sounds to me like they desperately need a family. Two people who are willing to put the lives that they are raising first and nurture them as much as possible. I... I also agree with the grandmother. Children should have a mom and dad. Having a marriage of convenience where we live in different states really isn’t the best thing for the kids, is it?”
She shook her head slowly, as though she had just thought of that.
“I didn’t think that you would want to actually be married,” she said, sounding unsure as she squinted her eyes and looked at him.
He didn’t say anything for a few minutes, trying to figure out how he should word it. How he should say that he wanted to be married, live in the same house, raise a family together, be in love, love each other, and show it.
But he thought that might be a little bit overwhelming for her. And she might not be interested if she thought he was...old.
So, he settled down, trying to think. “I’ll admit that I really hadn’t been planning on getting married anytime soon.” He took a breath and continued before she could interrupt him. “That doesn’t mean that I have anything against being married, it just means that...I haven’t found the right woman yet.”
He hoped that sounded sufficiently competent. He knew that people could look at his dating history, or lack of it, and see someone who was a loser. Someone who wasn’t “man enough” to attract a woman. But that really wasn’t it at all. He just knew who he wanted and knew she wasn’t ready to have him.
Now that she was, that she actually asked him, he wanted to manipulate the situation so that they didn’t go their separate ways after saying the vows that would unite them for life.
He didn’t mean to use the word manipulate. Because that made it sound like he was doing it in a selfish way, and maybe he was to some extent. But he knew what he was saying was true. The girls would be better off with a father in the picture, in the home, interested in them.
And he wanted Mabel.
Maybe, just maybe, Mabel would be more happy with him in the home than she would be without him.
“Do you really think I’m old?” he asked and was pleased to hear that his voice only sounded mildly curious and not hurt or scared. Scared that she looked at him and saw a father figure—not just for her kids, but for herself, too. He was only ten or so years older than she. Not enough to be anywhere near a father figure to her.
But she might not see it that way.
“No.” She tilted her head. “What made you think that?”
“You said something about me being old and not being married.” He was sure he heard it.
“Oh. I just meant that you were old enough to be married if you wanted to be. I thought maybe you’d chosen to be single.”
“Oh.” The relief that he felt did not come out in that word, but his whole body felt so light he was surprised he wasn’t floating.
Back to the other issues.
“Do you want to be a single mom?”
“No?” she said, sounding like she had never thought of such a thing. “I just... I just don’t have anyone lined up. I can’t imagine even if I did put my mind to trying to find someone... I’m just not the kind of girl that men flock to.”
“What makes you say that?” he asked, even though it really wasn’t pertinent information to their conversation. He certainly would flock to her. It was odd to him that she wouldn’t see her value, see how attractive he felt she was, and how much effort he had put in over the years to stay away from her so that she could finish her schooling and fulfill her dreams.
Maybe he should have spent less time trying to stay away and more time letting her know that he thought she was exactly the kind of woman that attracted a man. At least a man like him.
“Well, look around. Do you see anyone beating the door down?” Her words were a little sarcastic, and they made him feel bad.
“I’m sure they’ll be coming at any second,” he said, but she saw right through those words, and he wished he wouldn’t have said them.
She didn’t quite roll her eyes, but he got the feeling she wanted to.
“All right. I see what you’re saying, I guess. But that’s not really what I see when I look at you.”
“What do you see?”
He wanted to tell her all the things he saw, but this wasn’t the time. The idea of getting married could be blown out of the water if she decided that he was a stalker and a creepy one at that.
“You’re dedicated and strong, and you know what you want. You’ve gone after it. And the thing that I’ve always admired about you is your loyalty. First to your dad, then to Lark, and now to these girls. You’re willing to enter a marriage of convenience just to make a home for them. That’s pretty admirable and definitely something that appeals to me.”
“I would be loyal to you if we were to get married.”
