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“I know.”
Something curled around those words, something warm and sweet. They seemed to shimmer in the air. He hadn’t meant to say them like that, like instead of saying “I know” he had said “I love you.”
She seemed to notice the difference in his tone too, and his heart beat loud in the silence between them.
“But if you were thinking about getting married to someone at some point, I don’t want to stand in your way. And I don’t want you to do something that could possibly mess up your future. A divorce doesn’t exactly look good on a man’s resume, not to a future spouse. Not that it’s a terrible thing, it’s just...not something that you want to show if you don’t have to.”
“If I got married, I would have absolutely no intention of getting divorced. I would mean it for life.” He said those words firmly, allowing no room for argument. That was one thing he was absolutely firm on. He wasn’t going to just dabble in marriage, doing it while it was convenient. No matter what they wanted to call it. Convenient marriage or no. If he got married, he would be serious about it, and he would expect his wife to be serious about it as well.
Mabel nodded, her face thoughtful. “What if you find someone else?”
“I won’t be looking. I will refuse to look.” But he wasn’t the only one in question here, and he said, “What if you do?”
“I told you I would be loyal. Isn’t that what that means?” Then she seemed to shake her head, realizing she had to answer his question. “When I get married, my loyalty will be to my husband, for the rest of my life.”
He already knew that, but he liked hearing her say it, and the words settled deep and right into his bones.
They sat together, neither one of them speaking, as he rolled things over in his head. He wanted to hash it out, get the details straight, figure out what they were doing, but none of that seemed very romantic, and it seemed like this probably should be a romantic time, except he had never been very good at romance. Had never practiced saying the right words.
Maybe he should just say the real words.
“I want a real marriage. But I understand that might be something we have to grow into. I think that’s fine, but I do think that if we’re doing this for the kids, then we should definitely do it right for the kids. But... It’s also about us. Because when the kids are grown, you and I will still be married. I’d like it to be a good marriage. A happy one. One full of love. Even if you never fall in love with me, that doesn’t mean our house can’t be a happy home.”
“That was very inspiring. I... I haven’t thought about all the details. I just knew I wanted to save these girls. Knew I wanted to have them near me so I could love them the way they deserve to be loved. But your vision is so much bigger, you’re seeing the whole picture, not just the details that I had been staring at.”
“The details are important, but you’re right, I have a tendency to look at the big picture.”
“And that’s important too.”
Her words were spoken firmly, like she was trying to make sure that she made a point to tell him that he was right, and he smiled.
She didn’t need to, but he appreciated that she was already showing her loyalty by making sure she gave him his due.
“Do you have a timeline on the girls?”
“No. Lark didn’t say anything more, because neither one of us could see a marriage happening anytime soon. But if you’re one hundred percent sure, I will text her and tell her...that I found a husband.” She smiled. “Can we joke about this?”
“I think we can. Go ahead, tell her you found a gullible sucker who isn’t afraid to be the only man in the house with four women.” His eyes widened. “I’ll be the only man in a house of four women. Five if we’re living with Aunt Carol. Maybe I better rethink this.”
Her fingers froze on her phone, and she looked up to see the smile on his face. Once she read it and realized he was messing with her, she laughed. “You scared me.”
“No. Don’t let me scare you. I said I would do it, and I meant it. I’m not going back. The only way it’s not going to happen is if you change your mind.”
“That is not going to happen. I... I really want the girls, but you’ve risen to the occasion, and I believe you’re going to be an amazing father, and I think you’re going to be a good husband too. I just hope... I hope I can be a good wife. I haven’t put much thought into being anything other than a veterinarian and to some extent a mom to the girls staying with Lark. I’m not sure I’m going to make a very good wife, and the more time I spend with you, the more I feel like you deserve one.”
“We can hash out those details later. I want to be a good husband, and I don’t have any more idea of how to do that than you have about being a good wife. So, how about we just agree to give ourselves grace while we try to figure out exactly what our roles are going to entail?”
“You come up with some really great ideas. Have I ever told you that?” They laughed together, and he felt like maybe he’d actually handled the situation as well as he possibly could have.
After all, he was going to marry Mabel.
