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The shrill ringing of my phone woke me from a deep sleep. It took me a second to wake myself before I reached over and looked at the screen.
"Hello?" I answered as soon as I saw Amos's number on my screen. Silas had put us in a group chat so I'd saved them to my phone. Though so far, he hadn't said a word to me. It wasn't surprising since I was the one who told him to keep his distance and figure his life out first. Though I didn't often get a call at seven in the morning.
"Shit, I woke you up, didn't I? I can't stop fucking up," he muttered. "I'll just...I'll call back later. It's too early."
"No, it's fine," I told him, snuggling back under the covers and lazily holding the phone at my ear. "What's going on? New updates?"
"They're coming to take Evrin this morning, probably in the next hour or so. We're going to be heading back today when transport comes for him. I just... I really needed to tell you before we came home that I'm sorry. I know that I should do this in person and be a brave Alpha like I'm supposed to be, but sometimes it's easier for words when I don't have to look directly at you while I say them." The strong, confident Amos was nowhere to be found right now.
The poor Alpha sounded distraught, and who could blame him with everything he was taking care of right now. How someone handled emergencies and the hardest times often told you about their character. The fact I knew he was making sure the others were eating and hired cleaning services for Evrin's destroyed house spoke volumes.
"I don't blame you. Talking like this is fine," I reassured him. "No one wants to have heavy conversations in person, let's be honest."
"It's just been years of watching everything go downhill. He showed us those videos but we didn't know you then, we just had to take his word for it. He was hurt, there was so much pain that I couldn't help but hate you, too. I hadn't realized how badly it festered over the years until you became my own personal scapegoat for him. Maybe it was easier for me to accept his behavior if I had someone else to blame it on."
He paused and I could hear the steady rhythm of his footsteps as he paced back and forth. There was quiet chatter in the background and I knew he was still in the hospital, not straying far from his brother's bedside. He was still working through his thoughts, so I didn't say a word, letting him get it all out at his own pace.
"Now I know it wasn't you and I'm sorry for how I reacted. I think I just felt my world shattering around me. I was finally forced to face reality. Then coming and finding him nearly dead..." He stuttered, struggling to find the word.
"It was terrifying?" I offered. "I can't imagine finding someone I care about like that."
"We can't enable him any longer. He has to go get the help that we can't give him. If he doesn't and reverts back... I can't just sit here and watch him waste away. It hurts too much," he admitted.
"Did he wake up so you could say goodbye?"
He was quiet for a moment before answering.
"Yes. The doctors explained everything and he shut down on us. He wouldn't even speak. I think he has to face the reality of everything. We told him that we loved him and we wanted him to get help. Jackson said we wouldn't watch him hurt himself anymore but promised that we'd be there when he was ready."
"That's all you can do, Amos. You can't blame yourself, none of this is on you," I said gently. If he was here I'd crush him in a hug, I hated that he was so far away at the moment.
"None of it's on you, either," he said. His voice was stronger now, filled with conviction. He tapped into my own feelings of guilt for not wanting to see Evrin. "Please accept my apologies, Serenity. I want to try this again, to really get to know you and maybe to get to know myself a little bit more again. I've been the doting brother for far too long."
"You know where to find me. A fresh start sounds nice." As I said the words it felt like my chest unknotted some. I'd been worrying how any of this would work with us not getting along but it seemed my mate was crumbling under the pressure and simply needed a reality check. I just wish it hadn't come in such a terrible form. I hated that my mates were suffering and I couldn't be there for them. Even if I knew that this was something they had to face without me.
"I just want you to know that if you never want to see him, we won't pressure you. We don't even talk to our parents anymore. Evrin has been our only family for a long time and we don't even spend holidays together anymore," Amos said. "Hell, I don't even know what spending holidays with family is like."
"That's going to change," I said. "My family won't let us avoid them."
He chuckled at that, his voice getting lighter by the minute.
"I also understand that you may not cut him off completely. You can visit him without me and talk to him. I just know that I'm not ready to put myself in that situation again. I'm not saying that I'll never change but for now, I'm not ready."
"We respect that—" he started but was cut off as someone called out his name. "Look, I have to go, I just wanted to hear your voice and to get that off my chest."
"Good luck," I told him before we ended the call. I let my phone drop onto the bed beside me as I stared at the ceiling, knowing I wasn't going to be able to fall back asleep at this point. Of course, on the one day I don't have an early shift, I couldn't sleep in.
Instead, I opted for a long, hot shower and got dressed, my stomach rumbling loudly by the time I'd finished. After yesterday's amazing dinner I couldn't find it in me to cook for myself, so I grabbed my things and headed out the door.
The moment I walked in Ezra's diner he was smirking and gesturing for me to take a seat front and center.
"Why do you enjoy my misery, asshole?" I questioned as I plopped onto the stool. "Maybe do your job and get me a Dr Pepper please?" He rolled his eyes when I gave him a fake, sweet smile.
Instead of a Dr Pepper he brought me a water. I'd played this game too many times with him to argue, so I drank down half the glass before he gave me my morning caffeine.
I'd have plenty of coffee later at work, so I opted for this to get through the morning.
"It's not that I enjoy your misery, it just feels like karma," he said, tapping his chin as if he was thinking it over. "Remember that time that you got mad at me, so you cut all of my fishing line?"
