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“Your aunt’s a wise lady.”
Reeva’s eyes glazed over. “She really is. She’s the one who helped me be so honest. Nick?”
“Yes?”
“Shall we try again?”
Nick’s face lit up. “Really? I know you said you didn’t feel safe with me... I don’t want to make you feel like that.”
“I think the problem was I didn’t feel safe in myself. But that’s already changing. And I’m learning to ask for what I need.”
He beamed. “Okay. Then let’s start over again.”
Reeva cocked her head. “You know what, let’s not view it as starting again. I don’t want to erase the past few months. We’velearned a lot, even if it has been messy. But that doesn’t make it a failure. It’s part of our story. Let’s own it—and keep going.”
Nick caressed the back of her bald head with his hand. “You’re right. Let’s keep going and make sure that from now on, we’re fully honest with each other.”
“Deal. In that case,” Reeva said, smiling, “I would very much like you to kiss me right now.”
“That’s very convenient, because I was just thinking how much I’d like to kissyouright now.” He leaned in and placed his lips on Reeva’s. “Thank you.”
“For what?”
“Being your truest you.”
CHAPTER 27
Day 14
Reeva knew shewas meant to be happy. And she was. It felt so good—and so right—to have sorted things out with Nick. Especially as he was now in the living room winning over her mum (with excessive flattery), MJ (with cricket knowledge), and the twins (by letting them use him as a human jungle gym). But while Nick was slowly becoming more important to her, he wasn’t the most important person in her life. That was Lakshmi. And they still weren’t speaking.
It made Reeva feel unbearably guilty. When she’d had her realization about love and fear during her dad’s prayers, she’d chosen to reach out to Nick first. It had felt like the most authentic thing to do in the moment—and also the easiest. He’d been in her life for only a few months; the stakes were so much lower. Reeva didn’t regret fixing things with him first. But she knew she needed to speak to Lakshmi, and with each day that passed without her doing exactly that, the lump in her stomach grew bigger. She didn’t need Satya Auntie to tell her this suffering meantshe wasn’t aligned with her truth. A truth that was obviously about her love for Lakshmi.
But she couldn’t do anything about this, not just because of her fear of confrontation, but because Lakshmi wasn’t answering her phone. Reeva had already tried three times. If Lakshmi was screening her calls, how was she meant to reach her? An e-mail? A rom-com-style spontaneous visit—like the ones Nick was so fond of? She supposed she could do it once she was back in London on the weekend. But how would she know where Lakshmi was? The best thing would be to do it when Lakshmi was at work.
Like... today. It would mean definitely missing the kriya, but she didn’t even want to go. Besides, she’d been to her dad’s prayers the night before; surely that was enough? Her mum would be furious, and her sisters would be disappointed, but Reeva knew that didn’t matter. She had to do what was right forher, not them. She just wished she knew what that was.
“Reeva?” There was a gentle knock at the door.
She opened it quickly. “Satya Auntie! I’m so glad to see you. How are you feeling?”
Her aunt smiled weakly and sat down on the bed. “I’m well, thank you. Much better to be out of the hospital. How are you?”
“Oh, fine, thanks. You look great! But are you sure you’re okay to be here? I would have come to get you if I’d known.”
“I’m not dead yet! There’s no need to fuss.”
Reeva colored. “Okay. Sorry. I just... if I can do anything, let me know, okay?”
“Of course.” Her aunt squeezed her hand. “It was nice to see Nick here. He’s lovely. And most importantly, he really seems to see your worth.”
Reeva broke into a smile. “I took your advice. I was mycomplete honest self with him. I showed him my vulnerability—literally. I took my wig off.”
“I’m so glad,” cried her aunt. “Well done for being brave. That’s true intimacy. ‘Into me you see.’ ”
“I love that!”
“But why do you look so worried?” asked her aunt. “And don’t tell me it’s just about me.”
