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Nick nodded slowly. “It makes sense. And I think I noticed that. Not in so many words. But I did recognize that you weren’t always fully open with me. About your family and things.”
“And things,” repeated Reeva. “Definitely things.”
Nick looked nervous. “There’s more?”
“Yup.” Reeva gazed miserably down at the bench. “I really, really don’t want to do this. But I think I need to show you thereal me. It’s what Satya Auntie would tell me to do. She always says vulnerability is the only way to create connection. And if she can be brave about death, I can be brave about baldness.”
“Uh, I’m a little lost. What boldness?”
Reeva closed her eyes tight. “Okay, I’m not going to look. But you can.” She slowly peeled the wig away from the adhesive tape on her scalp and pulled it off.
She heard Nick inhale loudly. “Oh my god. Your hair. Where... What... Are you...?”
“Oh god, no!” Reeva opened her eyes instantly. “Sorry, no, it’s not cancer. I forget that’s people’s first assumption. I’m just... bald.”
“Right. Wow. Because...?”
“I have alopecia,” she explained. She felt the tears coming again, but this time, she let them fall gently. “I... um, I was losing my hair. It’s been happening since I met you. As in a week after our first date. I’ve had bald patches all this time, and, Nick, it’s beenkillingme. I didn’t understand why it was happening, and the more stressed I got, the worse it got. But I think I get it now. It’s about vulnerability. I thought it was a sign that I shouldn’t date you, that my body was against this. But actually... I think it was just my subconscious being scared about opening up to you. Scared of the past repeating itself. Scared about a lot of things.”
“Oh, Reeva.” Nick put his hand on her arm and squeezed it tight. “I can’t believe you’ve been dealing with this on top of everything and you didn’t say anything. You poor thing.”
She lowered her voice to a whisper. “I didn’t want you to stop fancying me. It’s why I couldn’t let you in to see me when you came to my flat. My wigs hadn’t arrived.”
“Uh, this makes me fancy you more.”
Reeva stared. “Do you have a bald fetish?”
“No! I just think it’s very cool you can get through this. My sister had alopecia once—just a tiny patch. And she didn’t handle it well. She spoke about it nonstop for weeks. She wouldn’t leave the house.”
“Ithoughtabout mine nonstop for weeks,” said Reeva. “And I tried to hide in my house for a week after I shaved it all off.”
“It sounds like you faced it head-on and handled it incredibly well.”
“I’m not sure I’d saywell.I have a fair bit of news to catch you up on.”
“Look at you, wanting to share your news with me.” He punched her arm gently. “Bald Reeva seems bolder.”
“No bald puns, please.” She looked into Nick’s familiar brown eyes with their little green flecks. “But I am sorry for not being honest with you. I wish I had been. It would have made things easier.”
Nick nodded. “I know. I feel the same way. I should have told you what was going on with Hot Lips. I fucked up by not telling you we used to date. That was stupid of me, and of course it made you not trust me when the pictures came out. But, Reeva.” He took both her hands in his. “Please, please believe me that nothing happened between us.”
“Then why was she there? Half-naked?”
“She wasn’t okay,” said Nick quietly. “She was suicidal. Badly.”
“Oh my god.”
“I know. I wanted to tell you, but I didn’t feel it was my secret to tell. But I trust you. I know this won’t go farther than this park bench, and if I want you to believe me, I have to be honest with you.”
“Of course. Is she okay now?”
“She’s a lot better. She’s been struggling with some issues for a while, which I won’t share, and they got worse in LA. She had a breakdown that night when she was in bed with a random guy. That’s why she came to my flat in her underwear. It was the opposite of a romantic encounter. She was at her rock bottom.”
Reeva couldn’t imagine someone like Hot Lips ever being in such a vulnerable state, but she knew Nick wouldn’t lie about something like this. She brought her hand to her heart. She knew what that felt like—that pain of desperation and misery. “Poor Hot Lips,” she breathed out. “I’m so sorry. I hope she’s getting the help she needs. And... as hard as it’s been, I’m glad you were there for her.”
Nick shook his head. “God, I can’t believe I ever thought you’d react with anything other than total empathy. I should have told you from the start.”
Reeva smiled. “That’s down to my aunt. She’s been teaching me to be more compassionate. Apparently once we give it to ourselves, we can give it to everyone else.”
