AllFreeNovel
Share Us
But shecouldask questions. “Okay, well, why was she there then? Wearing absolutely nothing?”
“She was actually wearing underwear,” said Nick. “But, uh... it was just to talk. I’m sorry I can’t go into details of why exactly she was there.”
Reeva frowned. “Wait, are you kidding? She was there in her underwear. And you won’t tell mewhy?”
“I don’t want to betray her confidence. I mean, I can’t. But essentially, she was going through some really hard stuff and she needed me as a friend.”
Reeva’s mouth dropped open in shock. “You’re not going totellme your excuse?”
“I’m sorry.” Nick sounded miserable. “I’m really, really sorry. It’s not my place to talk about it. It’s her story, not mine. I can’t betray her confidence. But it was just friendship—I can promise you that.”
“So you’re telling me that she came over to yours in her underwear and left at four a.m. because she needed to talk about some hard stuff she was going through, but you won’t tell me what? And I’m meant to just believe this and be, like, ‘Okay, cool, no worries’?”
“I don’t expect that, but please believe me, Reeva. I know it sounds mad, but this whole industry is mad.”
“How naive do you think I am?” cried Reeva. “You can’t just blame your job. And, what, are you going to tell me nothing’s ever happened between you two before? She’s obviously the singer you were dating, and you’re not even telling me. Why would I believe you when you’re not being up-front about any of this?”
Nick exhaled unhappily. “You’re right; I’m sorry. It was her. We dated off and on for a couple of years. I should have told you straight from the outset, but I thought it would just make a lot of drama. When I’ve told other women, they’ve been really insecure and not wanted me to work with her, but the truth is that I have to. It’s my job. She’s one of my top clients.”
Reeva felt a pang in her chest. She hated how right she was. And she hated that she was just as insecure as all those other women. Other women. Even that hurt. “Well, I guess it looks like your plan to avoid drama didn’t work,” she said flatly. “You kept this from me, and I had to figure it out because you weren’t brave enough to tell me. It’s just... it’s really shitty, Nick. How am I meant to trust you now about not cheating on me with her? You’ve hidden things from me all along.”
“Nothing has happened between me and her since I ended things with her, which was just after my second date with you. I promise. Things had been on their way out between us anyway. I have no desire to be with her at all—she’s completely... well, that’s another story. I want to be withyou, Reeva. Please believe me.”
Reeva felt the tears come again. She wished she could trust him, but she couldn’t. “Nick, you’re not even telling me why she was there and what she wanted to talk about. You’re choosing to keep her secret.”
“Only because it’s the decent thing to do. Reeva, I know it’s afucking mess. But please believe me. Open the door. Let’s talk properly. I didn’t cheat on you.”
“I can’t. You’re just too much of an lcb. You’re not sharing with me. Not in the way I need.”
“Huh? A what?” Reeva didn’t reply, so he carried on. “Look, I know I should have told you we dated. I’m really sorry. I guess I also didn’t want you to judge me.”
“Why does everyone think I’ll judge them!” cried Reeva. “You’re the one who lied to me! That’s the only thing I’m judging you for.”
There was a pause before Nick spoke. “I didn’t want you to think I’m the kind of guy who sleeps with young singers. I know how it looks. Fortysomething agent with twentysomething client. It’s bad. All the headlines are basically telling me that right now. And you’re... you’re so smart and successful. I could see us working together. Having a real, normal relationship. I like being with you, and I want you to respect me. I didn’t want you to think I was weak for being with Dan—uh, Hot Lips when you’re so strong.”
More tears slid down Reeva’s cheeks. She couldn’t let herself believe the nice things Nick was saying to her; it would make everything hurt more later. He was just coming up with generic platitudes to make her feel better since he’d betrayed her. It was exactly what Rakesh had done.
“Please give me another chance, Reeva,” begged Nick. “I’ve never felt so safe in a relationship as I do with you. You’re such a great girlfriend.”
So Nick felt safe with her. Of course he did; she wasn’t a Hot Lips who had the whole world desperate to shag her. She was plain old Reeva Mehta. She was dependable. Practical. Hardworking. Supposedly strong when on the inside she was fallingapart. There was no chance of her having a wild affair or abandoning him. And yet... she couldn’t say the same back. She was always anxious that Nick was creating distance between them or judging her. She didn’t feel safe with Nick because she never knew where she stood with him.
“Reeva? Say something.”
She opened her mouth and then shut it again. She didn’t know what to say.
“Reeva?”
She squeezed her eyes shut. “I’m sorry, Nick. I can’t do this. It’s too hard. All of it. Even if I manage to believe you haven’t cheated—which feels impossible right now—I don’t think I can cope with the rest of it. How different our lifestyles are. How you have a twenty-seven-year-old pop star as an ex. It’s just not me.”
He sighed. “I can’t erase my past or my job. But you know who I am when I’m with you. I’m just... me.”
Reeva closed her eyes tight as tears slid out of them. When she spoke, her voice was low. “The problem is... I’m not entirely sureIcan be fullymewhen I’m with you.”
“What?” Nick’s voice was pained. “I’m so sorry you feel that way. I had no idea. Do you... think that can change at all? That it will get easier with time? With some work? From both of us, I mean. I’ll do anything I can.”
Reeva shook her head. “I don’t think it will. I’m sorry.”
CHAPTER 19
