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“You should at least stay the night,” said Jaya. “Even if you skip the kriya. We’ll be up tomorrow morning.”
“And if you stay, you can check on the twins for me,” added Sita. “Check Mum hasn’t almost killed them. We don’t want history repeating itself or we’ll have to fakeherdeath this time. What? Why are you both looking at me like that? Black humor is a healthy coping mechanism.”
Reeva rolled her eyes. “Okay, fine. I’ll try and stay the night, butonlyfor Alisha and Amisha. In that case, make sure you feed FP a wet sachet for breakfast, and then put her dry food in the automated container so she has lunch and dinner. Even if I miss the kriya, she’ll need her lunch ready, okay? And—”
Sita shot her a death stare. “Reeva. I have two children. I can handle a cat. Now go.”
“Okay, okay.” Reeva grabbed her bag and turned around one last time to look at her cat—who did actually seem quite godlike up on the windowsill—and her sisters, who were slavishly bent over their coffees. “Bye!”
“Good luck,” called out Jaya. “Send Satya Auntie our love!”
“And let us know if you’ll come back tomorrow or not,” said Sita. “So we can feed the cat accordingly.”
“I just said leave enough in her container regardless!” cried Reeva. “Oh. You’re kidding again. You know it’s not funny to joke about starving a pet.”
“Cats can live on nothing in the wild for weeks,” said Sita. “Nine lives and all that.”
“The nine lives thing is true?” asked Jaya. “That’s so crazy.”
“Oh my fucking god,” muttered Sita.
“I’m leaving,” said Reeva. “Please don’t kill the cat. Or each other.”
—
Reeva drove downthe M1 in the rain. It was a journey she was now getting used to. The first time she’d done it on the way to her dad’s house, following the signs north, she’d felt sick with nerves. All she’d wanted to do was turn around and head back toward the comforting signs to the south. But now Reeva couldn’t wait to get to Leicester. She was desperate to see her aunt, especially as she had no idea how long they had left together. And she was grateful to her sisters for offering to cat-sit. As annoying as they both were and always would be, they were her family, and Reeva was beginning to see that this came with benefits, not just endless responsibilities.
They’d stayed up late the previous night, talking about everything from her fight with Lakshmi (Sita thought she’d overreacted; Jaya thought she’d underreacted) to what their mum had told them. None of them had realized how toxic their parents’ marriage had been, but it all made sense. Of course their parents had fought nonstop. Saraswati had left behind her famous, wealthy, well-connected family to live with an optometrist in a country where she knew basically no one. And Hemant had found himself with a demanding, dramatic wife instead of the calm, supportive spouse he’d been hoping for. It was a match made in hell—especially with the addition of Hemant’s addiction—andtheir separation was the best thing that could have happened. Even Sita acknowledged that Saraswati’s poor parenting had to be linked to the reality of being married to an alcoholic. They were all still furious at their mother in very different ways, but now there was a softer edge of understanding around their rage.
Reeva couldn’t say the same about her dad. Her feelings around him were messy. She knew he hadn’t meant to hurt her—but she couldn’t stop seeing her fuzzy nightmare of him standing at the top of the stairs as she and the cat lay at the bottom, covered in blood. She’d done a bit of googling about alcoholism, and she knew that he could very well have had his own traumas that led to him becoming an addict, but she still felt hurt, abandoned, and betrayed. It was like half of her felt sorry for him, but the other half hated him. It was why she really didn’t want to go to the kriya.
Her sisters thought she’d regret this. “We’ve been tricked into two weeks of this shit; we may as well see it through to the end,” said Sita pragmatically. Jaya’s perspective was more, “I have alotto say to him about the emotional damage he’s caused. And I think the kriya is the perfect place to do it.” Reeva had listened to her sisters in a way she normally didn’t—they were the only people who understood how she felt—but she still couldn’t see herself peacefully wishing farewell to her dad’s soul. Not when he’d betrayed her on so many levels. Besides, as Satya Auntie said, she could always make her peace with him in her own time instead of the designated ceremony. Like in her journal. Or in hypnotherapy.
But right now, her full focus was on Satya Auntie. Reeva had fallen asleep researching cancerous brain tumors. It was worse than she’d thought. The internet declared that a positive outcome—something just 10 percent managed—was living for around fiveyears post-diagnosis. To Reeva, this wasnotpositive. Her aunt had already lived for a decade post-diagnosis. Given this statistic, the doctors’ hopeful prognosis of one year seemed impossible. Reeva felt her eyes water at the thought. She hadn’t cried this much since she’d found out about Jaya and Rakesh.
Satya Auntie’s cancer put all that into perspective. Reeva had wasted so much time worrying—and for what? Nothing would change what her sister and her ex had done. And instead of cutting herself off from her sisters, she could have forced them to make it up to her with cat-sitting and chai-making. In a way, Sita’s harsh comments all those years ago had been right; the only way out of this mess was for Reeva to forgive them and move on. Then there was her alopecia. She’d stressed so much about losing her hair, when all along her aunt was losing herlife. Reeva couldn’t believe how much she’d made everything about herself lately. Even the drama about her parents felt less serious now. The truth was completely insane, but it didn’t really change anything. Her dad hadn’t been in her life before, and he still wasn’t, while her mum had always been a narcissist and still was. It was the way things were.
It was harder to be so Zen about Nick. Her sisters’ words were still in her mind. She knew she’d never be able to get back together with him the way her sisters suggested, but part of her wished she could. She already missed him. He was the smartest, funniest, most handsome, confident man she’d met since Rakesh. He was probably more of those adjectives than Rakesh had ever been—she just wished they could talk as openly as she had with her ex. When she’d turned her phone back on that morning, there’d been nothing from Nick. Endless missed calls and messages from her sisters and mum—which had made Reeva feel guiltier than ever—but Nick was obviously respecting herdecision, which was partly a relief and partly more painful than she’d imagined. But worst of all was the fact that there was nothing from Lakshmi. Reeva knew she could reach out first, but with everything going on, it would have to wait. She wanted to concentrate on spending as much time with her aunt as she could before she followed in her dad’s footsteps and died on her.
—
“Reeva!” Satya Auntielooked exhausted, lying in a hospital bed, hooked up to machines, but her face lit up at the sight of her niece.
Reeva’s eyes welled up again. She’d prepared herself for the sight of her aunt in the hospital, but seeing her in a white gown in a white bed just made her cancer even more real. “Hi.”
“I like your hair!”
Reeva’s brow furrowed and then she laughed. She’d forgotten she was wearing her Beyoncé wig. “Thanks. I’ll explain later. How are you?” She walked up closer to Satya Auntie’s bed and took her hand. “Tell me everything.”
“I suppose your sisters have told you the basics?”
Reeva nodded as she lowered herself into a plastic chair. “They said it’s bad. How are you feeling?”
“I’m okay, thank you, darling. Bit tired, but all right. And, well, you know I try not to define things as good or bad. It’s just the path that’s been chosen for me. Who am I to label it?”
Reeva grinned as she wiped away a sudden tear. “I should have known the Satya Lama would say something like that. But... this does seem pretty bad to me. No offense. They said you’redying.And... they don’t know how long you have.”
Her aunt clasped her hand tight. “Oh, but I’m so grateful to have had all these years! I’ve done so much with my life. I wasable to reconnect with Hemant. I was able to meet you! And your sisters. I’m so lucky to have even a little more time with you all. Whether it’s a matter of weeks or months.”
