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My eyes fly to him as he answers that so effortlessly. Butterflies settle in my belly and I turn back to my pie, forcing myself to swallow the lump in my throat. He knows exactly how far along I am?
Maria serves everyone their desert before settling on Tank’s knee to enjoy her own bowl. I let out a squeak and jump in my chair as a warm hand settles on my knee. Trigger immediately tries to rip his hand away, but I’m quicker than he is and place it back on my knee. I curse myself for jumping away at his touch. This is Trigger! His hands on me shouldn’t alarm me, and I hate that it pulled that type of reaction out of me.
He lets out a loud breath next to me as he gives my knee a light squeeze before pulling away and settling his laced hands on the table top. My heart shatters in my chest even further at the exchange and I push away from the table, taking my bowl into the kitchen and putting it in the sink.
I use the back staircase and slip upstairs and into my room. Only then do I let the tears fall.
After the shower that I was so sure was going to make me feel better, I drop down to lie on my side in my bed, clicking on the unread messages on my phone.
I’m so sorry I scared you, baby. I wasn’t expecting you to jump, but I wasn’t thinking. I’m so fucking sorry.
Trigger’s message has fresh tears gathering in my eyes. I can only imagine how upset my reaction to his touch made him, and it breaks my heart. Being with Trigger was always easy. The easiest thing I’d ever done in my life, in fact. I used to crave his touch, day and night, and I was never settled until his hands were on me.
I quickly let my fingers fly across the screen and press send before I can stop myself.
It’s ok. Just startled me.
Just like the last and only text I’ve sent him since everything, he responds right away.
I really am so sorry. I will see you tomorrow for lunch. Good night. Sleep good, Red.
At the use of my old nickname, my lips pull in a small smile and I lock my phone putting it on the bedside table.
Shutting off the light, I’m left praying in the darkness for the day that I can be with those I cherish without anxiety clawing at my throat. I hope it comes sooner rather than later.
11
TRIGGER
The Studio
“I’m picking the keys up now. What time do we need everything to be ready?” Ghost’s voice booms through the speaker of my bluetooth as I fly down the backroads towards Tank and Maria’s house.
“I’m almost there to pick her up. Her appointment is at three thirty, so I would probably say five thirty by the time we get back into town with traffic.”
Ghost yells something away from the phone before talking into the microphone. “We can do that. Lilah is almost here with the last of the shit she ordered, so we should be fine. She’s also bringing little cakes and shit.”
“Thanks for helping with all this shit, man. I couldn’t do it without everyone’s help.”
“Pebbles is family. We all want her out of this funk just as much as you do,” Ghost grumbles. “No one faults her for it, but we all miss our old Pebbles.”
“Fuck, you have no idea how much.”
If I’m honest with anyone, and if anyone truly asked me, I’d probably tell them that the thought of Pebbles never coming back to me has truly had me on the brink of tears a few times, especially late at night working in her studio. I want to do any and every single thing she could ever want and need to make her life everything that she wants it to be.
Her dad was a good guy, I heard stories about how good of a dad despite raising her with her shitty mom. I hope to be that for our kids, if she’ll let me.
No, fuck that. Whether she lets me or not, I will take care of them for the rest of my life, no matter what.
“Send me a text when you leave her appointment and I’ll make sure we’re good to go,” Ghost says, bringing me back to our conversation and out of my own head.
“It’ll be about thirty minutes once we leave the office.”
“Got it. I’ll see you then.”
I hang up with Ghost and turn down Pebbles’s street, pulling in the driveway next to the SUV I bought for her.
I’ve asked Tank and Maria if she’s driven it at all and they both said no. Someone has always picked her up and taken her wherever she goes. As soon as she drives again, it better be the damn SUV for her and my kids’ safety.
