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A college-aged girl sits at the desk at the back of the room with a smile on her face. “Welcome! Please sign in, and I will get your new patient packet ready to fill out.”
I force my lips to smile at her and feel Ghost step away. Out of my peripheral vision, I see him pick up a magazine and take a seat to the left of the door.
I scribble my name down on the sign in sheet and pull out my ID for her to copy.
“Go ahead and have a seat. Fill all this out, and one of the nurses should be with you soon. You’ll give them all the paperwork, so just hang on to it,” the receptionist chirps. I can’t decide if she is naturally this cheerful or if she’s being paid really well to fake it.
I take a seat next to Ghost. I can’t stop the smile that hits my lips as I look at the picture on the current page. A woman’s large belly protrudes under her as she holds a cow pose.
“That’s probably what got her into that predicament anyways,” Ghost cracks to himself, flipping to the next page.
I turn my attention back to the paperwork in front of me. The sheets are filled with all the normal stuff, like allergies, past medical history, and family history.
The one thing I can’t answer is when I had my last period. I truly don’t remember. It was quite normal for me to skip the placebo pills because I didn’t want to deal with my period.
“Heather Moore?” My eyes snap up to the pretty girl, who looks to be my age, in light pink scrubs.
“Want me to come with?” Ghost asks, sitting forward.
I shake my head while he gives me a supportive boost off the chair.
“We’ll come get you in a little bit, Dad,” the nurse says, causing Ghost to chuckle.
“I’m not the dad, just a friend.”
The nurse's eyes widen and her cheeks tinge pink. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s fine,” Ghost waves her off. “Whenever she’s decent, I do want to come talk to the doctor, if that’s alright.”
“I’ll be sure to come get you.”
She holds the door open for me, and I follow behind her. “My name is Cadence. I’ll be getting you ready to see Dr. Murphy today.”
I so badly want to respond to her, but everytime I try, the words get lost in my throat.
“Step on up here for me, please. I just need to get a current weight on you.” I step up onto the scale, happy with the number that pops up. Even if it hasn’t been at the forefront of my mind, I know I’ve been eating more than I normally would to make sure the babies are getting enough.
Cadence brings me into a decent sized room. An exam table sticks out from the middle with a chair to the right of it. A large ultrasound machine, like the one at the hospital, sits to the left. A very large flat screen TV is mounted to the wall beside it.
After taking my temperature and blood pressure, Cadence hands me a folded cloth and I panic when she tells me to take off my pants and drape the cloth over my waist. She’s out the door faster than I can blink and I’m left alone clutching the lilac cloth.
I drop down into the chair next to the table, tears burning at the backs of my eyes. I don’t want to let this demon inside of me win, but it’s hard not to when all of these emotions are attacking me from every angle.
I just can’t bring myself to undress for this person I’ve never met. Once the tears start to fall, I become frustrated with myself and my inability to stop them.
I’m wiping my cheeks with a tissue I found on the counter when a soft knock raps against the door.
“Heather?” A middle aged woman with pink scrubs just like the last girl slips through the door. “My name is Dr. Murphy. It’s nice to finally meet you.”
She holds her hand out to mine, which is wet with the tears I just dried from my cheeks. I rub them against my leggings to dry the dampness, then hold my hand out to hers.
Dr. Murphy seems to be in her late forties. She has beautiful brown hair that falls in bouncy curls, blemish free chestnut skin, and the softest, most welcoming brown eyes I’ve ever seen.
“What’s wrong, Heather? You don’t need to be nervous,” Dr. Murphy says as she smiles reassuringly.
I pick at a piece of lint on my leg, taking a deep breath.
“I’ve read a little bit from your hospital visit, Heather. This is a safe space. You can speak freely with me. I want you to trust me, but I know that will take time. I am here for you and your babies.”
